"I Don't Read the Paper, My Staff Tells Me What's Important"

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Wednesday April 06, 2005 · 2:11 PM PDT

2005/04/06 · 14:11

I just received this via an email forward, and I have never seen it before.

It is obviously a joke, and I like it, but I can obviously dispute a lot of the categorizations. Yes, I have been reduced to posting email forwards. Don't blame me. Clients were way too annoying today, demanding that I do my job that they pay me for. And jeez, could Judges have a sense of humor once in a while. Yes, your Honor, next time I will actually bring my client to trial.

Have fun!

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country ... or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
The Philadelphia Inquirer is read by Philadelphia Mayor John Street, who runs nothing, not even Philadelphia.
The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
None of these are read by the guy who is running the country into the ground.

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