Update: He found work!
I have a friend looking for a job. If you know of any openings, please let me know.
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
To contribute communication skills in a permanent position as a hatchetman in a rapidly growing political machine.
Deputy White House Chief of Staff, 2004-present
Senior Advisor to the President
- Crafted political strategy and security policy for major industrialized nation
- Smeared opposition leaders, members of media through misinformation campaigns
- Kept outing of CIA spy scandal out of the media until after reelection campaign
Chief Strategist to Governor George W. Bush
- Deceived large diverse nation into war on false pretenses
- Managed personal conflicts of interest, including holding shares in Enron, Boeing, General Electric, and Pfizer while crafting policies and meeting with industry lobbyists
- Used 9/11 to cement Republican gains in the House and take over the Senate in 2002
- Raised money and managed political career of right-wing judge Priscilla Owens, coordinating donations from businesses with cases pending before the court, and then orchestrating her elevation to a Federal Circuit Court
Bush-Quayle Texas Campaign
- Orchestrated smear campaign against Al Gore, including manufacturing the appearance of Gore being a 'serial liar'
- Concocted moderate media image of candidate as 'compassionate conservative' and 'uniter not divider'
- Crafted successful whisper campaign against John McCain in South Carolina to win Presidential nomination for George Bush, including questioning McCain's mental health and implying McCain fathered an illegitimate black child
- Organized emergency response of Republican politicians and supporters to go to Florida to assist the campaign's position during recount
- Oversaw the incitement of riots and the intimidation of vote counters by flying angry Congressional staffers to Florida
- In 1986 Texas Governor campaign against Democrat Mark White, Rove bugged own office and blamed it on his opponent
- Successfully painted political opponent, respected family court judge, and winner of Champion for Children Award Mark Kennedy as pedophile through sophisticated whisper campaigns
- In 1994 Bush defeat of Anne Richards, organized push polls - "Texan voters began receiving calls from "pollsters" asking questions such as: "Would you be more or less likely to vote for Governor Richards if you knew her staff is dominated by lesbians?"
Chair, College Republicans
Executive Director, College Republicans
- Defeated opponent for College Republican Chairmanship by challenging the credentials of every single Edgeworth delegate to the 1973 College Republican convention and putting forward a rival delegation
- Taught Nixonian dirty tricks to leaders around the country: "A report was published in the Washington Post on August 10, 1973, titled "[Republican party] Probes Official as Teacher of Tricks", gave an account, based on tape recordings, of how Rove and a colleague had been touring the country giving young Republicans political combat training, in which they recalled their feats of derring-do, such as Rove's Chicago heist at the Dixon headquarters."
- Ran College Republican organization during Nixon reelection campaign
- Supported the troops by not serving in Vietnam
- Hired by Nixon dirty tricks artist Donald Segretti
- Stole 1000 pieces of stationary of Democratic candidate Alan Dixon, a Democrat running for state treasurer in Illinois, distributed to Chicago's red-light district and soup kitchens with message inscribed: "free beer, free food, girls and a good time for nothing", ruined Dixon reception
- Multichannel rumor spreading (internet, phone, direct mail, broadcast media)
- Not getting caught
- Smears and whisper campaigns