From Sarasota, Florida.....
Puttin' On the Frist!
Compromise blew Bill Frist's luster
Then Bolton's two cloture votes missed-
Puttin' on the Frist!
Diagnoses over TV
Schiavo can actually see
In our midst-
Puttin' on the Frist!
Denouncing folks who choose to live life pagan
Trying hard to look like Ronald Reagan
Cheney, Rove and Bush make Frist dance
Wingnut agenda must advance
Slap his wrist-
Puttin' on the Frist!
------ short instrumental break by Jdog and the Cheers and Jeers Orchestra------
Frist said you could get AIDS from shedding tears
In med school he must not have used his ears
Head in arrears
Come, let's mix where Republicans
caucus over Harry Reid's plans
And get pissed-
Puttin' on the Frist!
Thank ya boys and girls for the wunnerful number!
A properly-dressed Cheers and Jeers MONDAY begins in the extended entry section........(swoosh!)....Right NOW! (Gong!)
DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, mattress photos, pie references, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
DOC'S BAD JOKE OF THE WEEK:
(In the yellow box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)
From Bad Jokes Of the Week:
The captain of a pirate ship was sitting in his cabin when the first mate came to him and said, "There is a pirate ship on the horizon!" The captain replied, "Tell the men to prepare the guns and bring me my red shirt!" "Yes sir!" replied the first mate and went to fulfill his orders. The ship came closer and the men began to fight. The captain and his ship won the battle and the men kept all of the gold.
A week later, the first mate came to the captain and said, "Captain, there are four ships on the horizon!" The captain replied, "OK, tell the men to prepare the guns and bring me my red shirt!" "Yes sir!" said the first mate and went to fulfill his orders. The other ships came closer and the men began to fight. The captain and his ship won the battle and the men kept all of the gold. After they won the battle, the first mate went to the captain and asked, "Every time we go into battle, you wear your red shirt. Why?" The captain answered, "Well, I wear my red shirt so that if I get shot and start bleeding, the men will keep fighting, not knowing their captain is hurt!" The first mate said, "Wow! That is really smart!"
Two weeks later, the first mate once again came to the captain and said, "Captain, there are 20 ships on the horizon!" The captain said, "OK, tell the men to prepare the guns and bring me my brown pants!"
CHEERS to butter from guns. 57 years ago yesterday, the Berlin Airlift began as a response to the Soviet Union's blockade of West Berlin. For 11 months around the clock, thousands of cargo aircraft brought essential supplies into the city, eventually breaking the Soviet blockade, in what is still called the greatest airlift in history.
JEERS to misplaced priorities. Cartoonist Pat Olyphant sums up the reaction--so far--by Mr. and Mrs. America to the DSM.
CHEERS to getting serious about weight loss. Patrick Deuel, of Valentine, Nebraska, has lost 573 pounds in the last 12 months, following gastric bypass surgery performed when he weighed 1,072 pounds.
JEERS to wingnuttia beyond even Karl Rove's dreams. This WebCommentary article contends that Rove went too easy on the Democrats! The title alone gives away it's uber-wingnuttia origins: Rove Should Apologoze. He Went Way Too Easy on Them. Yes, you read that right: apologoze. What a bunch of morans.
CHEERS to pet goats. In the San Francisco Bay area, goats have been turned out to eat the underbrush that often fuels fires in the summer. They are also helping homeland security by creating better sightlines around nuclear power plants for security personnel. Baaaaab!
JEERS to shooting themselves in the foot, and blowing it away. The Florida Democratic Party is in arrears to the IRS for not paying payroll taxes. This happened under former chairman and current (and I'm sure, soon to be former) gubernatorial candidate Scott Maddux's watch. This screwup will damage every Democratic candidate's chances in 2006. Florida Politics has links and coverage on the whole sorry mess. Ye gods.
JEERS to eating Shamu. In Hakodate, Japan, whale burgers are on the menu, while Japan got denounced yet again at the International Whaling Commission meeting for their continued insistence on "scientific" whaling. I don't even want to know what the fries with the burger are made from.
JEERS to the Hillsborough County Commission, for passing a broad anti-gay ordinance banning the county from acknowledging, promoting or participating in gay pride events, largely in response to strident complaints from the Commission's resident pain in the ass, Ronda Storms. The ordinance has touched off a firestorm of controversy, and even columnist Daniel Ruth of the conservative Tampa Tribune has dubbed Storms "Mother Omar". JEERS also to the other five Commission members who voted for it, including one Democrat.
CHEERS to Tampa mayor Pam Iorio. In response to the above ordinance, the Democratic mayor said, "Gays and lesbians are part of our diversity and deserve our respect. That is a value that I hold dear. We should build on tolerance, not intolerance." CHEERS also to the one county commissioner who voted against the measure, Kathy Castor, the daughter of Senate candidate Betty Castor, and a candidate to replace Rep. Jim Davis in FL-11.
CHEERS to dKos diarist Norwood, who not only reported on the county ordinance but coined a great term in the process: "Homophoburbia". Let's hang that around Ronda Storms' neck at re-election time!
(So it's a Weekend Edition title. Sue me)
This week we have multiple winners: the Senators and Representatives who voted for the flag burning amendment!
It seems like we go through this every year around this time. Right on schedule (unlike, say unimportant things like the budget) Congress puts forth a resolution and/or Constitutional amendment to ban flag burning--this while leaving untouched trivialization of the flag in things like advertising and fashion.
Right on schedule this year the amendment was offered. This time it passed--with bipartisan support--in both houses of Congress. So now all TWO of the flag burners last year better be careful!
The floor is yours! What do y`all have to cheer and jeer about today?