Dennis Kucinich Will Be President.

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Tuesday December 12, 2006 · 1:12 PM PST

2006/12/12 · 13:12

In 2004, Dennis Kucinich was the short bachelor candidate who opposed the war.

Short men generally do not win the Presidency. (Only Jimmy Carter comes to mind in the 20th Century). The height requirement, while not in the Constitution, is generally thought to be at least 5'10''.

At the same time, unmarried men are generally not elected to the Presidency either. I can think of only Grover Cleveland.

So Dennis had two strikes against at the starting gate. He never recovered.

But Dennis was wise. He knew he had no shot in 2004, and thus used the opportunity of running for President to score dates with hot women.

It was a devious plan to advance his presidential campaign in 2008.

He married a hot redhead model-type who is probably half his age. She is also twice his height. In so doing, he killed two birds with one stone. He is now married, so erase the first strike, and his wife is tall and hot and young, which will counterbalance Dennis' lack of height.

Thus, Denny is well on his way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue!

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