Well, it's 2005 already! My fondest memory so far this year? Of course it's the way all of the networks, both broadcast and cable/satellite, as well as the major newspapers, covered the first formal challenge to certification of the Electoral College ballot count in 130 years! The "Boxer rebellion" they called it, but the jazzy catch phrase just never seemed to quite catch on.
Why, even the trusty old NYTimes spent a lot of ink on their first story, January 7th, covering the historic challenge, when they printed the words of wisdom from these two gentlemen:
"This is a travesty," said Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania, a member of the Republican leadership, who forced a formal roll call vote in the Senate to spotlight lawmakers' positions. Of Democrats, he said, "They're still not over the 2000 election, let alone the 2004 election."
Representative Tom DeLay of Texas, the House majority leader, drew applause on the House floor when he denounced the Democrats' move as a "quadrennial crying wolf," while other House Republicans ridiculed stories of voter fraud in Ohio as "Hollywood inspired."
I remember how well the snewz channels covered all the domestic and international protests going into the war in Iraq - right, the second recent war in Iraq - the one that prevented us from being blown up by a urine cake mushroom cloud. I can't tell you, dear diary, how much I'm looking forward to the intense coverage the networks will provide for all the protests and demonstrations on Inaugural Day, come January 20th! I'd sure hate to think that I might have to go all retro and tune my little Grundig to KUT, or a shortwave broadcast from overseas in order to listen to NPR, BBC, or some other puny news service just to find out how people in my own country express their dissent and disgust with BoyGeorge & The Dick. Not to mention all those heathen bloggers and alternative news sources on the Web! Ugh, and those email activists? Not Brent Blowswell, but the tens of thousands of individuals actually concerned about our future. Who needs 'em! We've got a free press! I mean, just look at the way Ari used that cute lil' cutthroat smile of his when Helen Thomas, having earned her way to the front row, dared to ask him a couple of tough questions. He banished her to the back seat of the bus at press conferences. You don't think that sent a message to all of the other reporters do ya? You don't think they all got that familiar glazed look on their lazy, cocksucking faces, and when coming up for air asked Ari, "Wellsir, what other questions wouldya like me to ask ya, sir? I'd love to be a shill for ya like that fat little fucker from the Washington Times!" Yes, it's all clear sailing from here, diary. God is in BoyGeorge's Heaven, all's right with His world. The Unbelievers? They're all goin' to Hell, can't you see?! You're either with us (born again Rethugs) or you're a heathen. How could anything be more clear? The NFidels might as well shut up, diary, cuz they're all doomed anyway. Now, where did I put my ticket? I remember my number...143,999. Hmmm...