FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everybody else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. the government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. the government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you all the eggs and milk that regulations say you should need.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, then sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
COMMUNISM (reality): You share two cows with your neighbours. You and your neighbours bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
COMMUNISM (Stalinism): You have two cows. You are shot as a counter-revolutionary. The cows are put in the Gulag. The milk? What milk? Who are you, and why are you asking about milk, Comrade?
CHINESE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You are made to take care of them, the government takes all the milk.
COMMUNISM (Leninism): You have two cows. You are shot as a counter-revolutionary. The cows are also shot as counter-revolutionary. The Proletariat gets the milk, but refuses to drink such petit bourgeois liquids.
MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The Government takes both and drafts you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbours will kill you and take your cows.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Politicians decide who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
I am sure there are other examples, and other ideologies of goverance, because this particular email forward has been circulated so frequently and modified just as often, so feel free to add them in the comments.
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