Over-familiar sentence introducing diary topic, including the words "guys", "y/all" and/or "hey".
Long introductory statement involving reference to Nixon, or perhaps Reagan, it's hard to tell. Diarist's statement of surprise at being first to discover article everyone's already read. Woefully inadequate sentence diarist believes to be snarky, which serves as introduction to article:
Poorly chosen break between Intro and Extended Body.
Link to members-only article that generates Login Screen
Title of story from three weeks ago, found by diarist on a different site ten minutes ago
...the last 7 words of the second sentence of the third paragraph of article. ... Ellipses which skip five sentences of vital background information. Several sentences in bold. Several sentences in bold. Several sentences in bold. Clear, precise sentence that should be in bold but isn't.
"Scary quote from famous person ending in ellipsis..." Ellipsis which elides qualifiers used by speaker, such as "rarely," "in theory" or "not".
Unintentional double block quote.
"Gotcha" introduction to second quote which contradicts first quote, interrupted by hyper-linking of a common word as a none-too-funny inside joke:
Link rendered useless by nearly-imperceptable typographical error
Title of story published in 1966
"Quote that doesn't really contradict prior quote."
Wildly over-the-top call to action. Call for peculiar sacrifices. Statement shaming those who don't make peculiar sacrifices. Author's promise to make peculiar sacrifices, starting tomorrow or maybe later in the week.
Unfilled promise to delete diary if a better one has been written, demonstrating diarist's inability to use search functions.
Indication of cross-posting to obscure blog full of posts demonstrating the temper/insanity of the author.
UNNECESSARY UPDATE: Unexplained link cut-and-pasted from a site that abbreviates long links
NECESSARY UPDATE (AMBIGUOUS DATE THAT READS DIFFERENTLY IN EUROPE): Lamentation on lack of ability to post second diary as INAPPROPRIATE CAPS: open thread 2 exclamation points. Statement of awe at quantity of comments, with apologetic tone as if diarist thinks he's done something wrong but has no idea what.