Paris Hilton's Minimum Wage

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Saturday August 05, 2006 · 8:08 PM PDT

2006/08/05 · 20:08

BREAKING: Paris Hilton gives up sex, but not money

Hold the presses. This just in to the Situation Room where news and photos pour in at all hours of the day:

Paris Hilton gets $500,000 just to show up at parties, $1 million if she has to wave and say something nice:

Hilton also told the magazine she collects $500,000 in fees just to show up at parties and other events from Las Vegas to Tokyo. Her best-paying gig, she said, was a recent Austrian appearance.
"I had to say `hi' and tell them why I loved Austria so much," she is quoted as saying.
And why does she like Austria? "Because they pay me $1 million to wave at crowds!"

Well, it's no wonder the evil Death Tax needs to be repealed. Paris is so concerned about not getting that family money that she's having to rent herself out as a party ornament.

No word yet whether the $500,000 includes free booze and hors d'ouevres.

In other Paris news, she's celibate:

"I'm not having sex for a year. ... I'll kiss, but nothing else," says Hilton, who told the magazine she has had sex with only two men during her lifetime.

And I've got some Iraqi WMDs for sale cheap.

Paris also offered some astute political observations:

When asked about British Prime Minister Tony Blair, her response was: "Who? ... Oh, yeah, he's like your president. I don't know what he looks like."

Oh, yeah, like, whatever!

Asked who she she thinks will win Tuesday's Democratic primary in Connecticut, Paris said: "I'd take that Quinnipiac poll with a grain of salt because the MOE among likely voters is just too high and, besides, turnout's going to make the difference."

Well, sort of.

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