Got Pus? (Or how Fox made it legal for Mickey to lie)

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Saturday September 09, 2006 · 7:44 PM PDT

2006/09/09 · 19:44

It was Fox that hired Jane Akre and her husband, Steve Wilson, for the WTVT "Investigators" team in Tampa Bay, Florida.

In 1997 the team uncovered BGH (Bovine Growth Hormone) concerns in the Florida dairy industry. (BGH concerns include elevated levels of pus in diary products. Fun Fact: Florida wins the prize for highest pus levels; in 2000 with 504 million cells per liter of milk. Way to go, Sunshine State!)

But there was one little problem (besides pus, grossly swollen udders, and increased risk of breast, colon, and prostate cancers): Fox thought it unfair to pick on a patriotic corporation like Monsanto, and ordered the two reporters to change the story (i.e. LIE). And so the two reporters sued.

Now, whatever made Akre and Wilson think it was ILLEGAL for Fox to make them lie? Maybe it was because the FCC had a stated policy against news falsification.

So, before we jump, close your eyes and just GUESS what the Florida courts decided.

On February 14, 2003 the Florida Second District Court of Appeals unanimously ruled that (quoting this website): the FCC policy against falsification of the news does not rise to the level of a "law, rule, or regulation," it was simply a "policy." Therefore, it is up to the station whether or not it wants to report honestly.

Note: So a POLICY to NOT lie means lying is OKAY. Remember Bush's POLICY to NOT get blow jobs in the Oval Office? (If I had any Photoshop skills whatsoever, you'd be looking at a Condi "Got XXX?" pix at this very moment.)

And how has Fox used its "magic bullshit" ruling? According to former Fox Reporter David Shuster, his fellow Fox reporters simply MAKE SHIT UP!!!.

Fox News: We make shit up. YOU decide.

Let's face it. Researchers, fact checkers, note pads--all that comes right out of the corporate bottom line. So if no one cares, why NOT fake it?

And cut to September, 2006, and now ABC gives us it's "BASED ON THE 9/11 COMMISSION REPORT," "OFFICIAL TRUE STORY", slime-u-drama, with conclusions that are the EXACT OPPOSITE of the 9/11 Commission Report.

Hey! It's legal!

What to do? I don't know. Maybe ask Congress to at least define "policy" as something OTHER than "Who gives a rat's ass?". Yeah. Sure. Like Congress gives a rat's ass.

Meanwhile--I just had a Rashomon moment. If it's legal to lie out your butt...

BASED-ON-TRUE-FACTS OFFICIAL TRUE STORY!!!! She was a pre-pubescent school girl. He was a power-mad studio tycoon, consumed by his relentless pursuit of pre-teen Lolitas in rodent uniforms. (Gripping Music.) A docudrama ripped from the headlines. (Pan to Walt's cryongenically frozen head swaddled in a nest of Annette's training bras.) M-O-U-S-EEEEE. (And, fade to black. )

Anyone with a Moonie affiliated mega-church/production company; phone me baby!

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