In Which I Sacrifice Myself for Daily Kos.

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Sunday October 07, 2007 · 8:44 AM PDT

2007/10/07 · 08:44

Dear Kosmopolitans:

There's a lot of tension around here lately. It's primary season, which always causes group brawling on this site -- or any political site. Add to it the fact that this 2008 primary season started cerca 1999, and we have a lot of anger and angst here at the Big Orange these days. It seems everyone is pissed at someone else (I'm personally enraged at that guy Meteor Blades, and I don't even remember why at this point), and most people have very itchy troll-rating fingers.

I'm here to help.

(follow me below the break, and hear of my extremely noble act of martyrdom...)

Practicers of Primal Scream Therapy have known for years -- as have those fey young men in the 1980s group Tears for Fears --- that shouting at the top of ones lungs can be therapeutic when the tension ratchets up too high. And children who have anger issues are encouraged by their kiddie shrinks to punch a pillow to let out their rage and frustration. I've heard that sometimes these jangly kids are even allowed to hit a stuffed animal with a whiffle ball bat.

I am your stuffed animal.

The Troll Rating is your whiffle ball bat.

Allow me the pleasure of throwing myself on the grenade for you. I may not survive, granted, but...if not, perhaps you can build a little HTML memorial for me, right under the endless goddamned ads for "The Freedom Toast."

And If I do survive this firing squad of TR's -- as a Trusted User, or an Untrusted Creep -- I expect to be treated no differently on this site than any other amazingly selfless person. Seriously, let's not make a big deal of my almost Christ-like act.

Below I will, in an act of sacrifice, post provocative statements that you can TR at will. Indeed, they are designed for just that purpose, after extensive field-testing in numerous DKos diaries.

Please have at them, show me no mercy, and get those frustrations out of your system. Rage away at me, call me what you will -- I will not respond unless I feel it will help give you more TR fodder... for purposes of therapy only, of course.

I only ask that you don't insult my candidate, Mr. Mike Gravel, or I swear to God I will jump out of your computer screen and wedgie you into next week. That's a promise. He is a god among men, and if you don't support him for President than you... well, then you just hate life, man.

But I digress.

Get that troll-rating finger out of its holster.

O.K. Ready? Fire at will.

[Salutes, then dives into the pits of hell....]

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