Playing touch football with my boy cousins every Sunday at my grandparents meant I could spend time with my Dad. He was a hard-working, blue-collar Democrat who worked six days a week as an iron worker. His one day off belonged to him and the sport of football. We’d watch the Rams and Green Bay together, and shout at the screen. We’d follow the Fighting Irish and watch biographies on the great coaches, Lombardi, Rockne, and the rest. And in the afternoons we’d play touch football at my grandparents, with Dad as coach and quarterback. When we shared football, my Dad stopped looking at me as "only a girl," and he started to see me as a player in life. He’d test me by throwing long, and making me run faster than I ever thought possible. He’d just laugh if one of my boy cousins grabbed me too hard and threw me to the ground. The rules were simple: Play hard, do your best, and no tears. And because I honored these rules, never broke them, and had a good pair of hands, he privileged me with these words: "You can be anything you want, if you set your mind to it."
It’s been awhile since I’ve thought about these memories. My Dad passed away three years ago, and I don’t seem to watch many football games anymore. Lord knows, I haven’t picked up a football in too many years to count. But the other day one of our candidates gave an interview about their father, playing football, and the life lessons that were learned from both.
"(My father) played football at Penn State. He went to college on a football scholarship. He was a really self-made, resilient, hard-working man of his time... He used to tell us: You go out and life is tough and you do the best you can."
I think you'd be surprised to know which candidate.
It was Hillary.
Her father played football at Penn State---and she used to play street football with her brothers and the other boys in the neighborhood.
"If we were going to play football, we ALL were going to play football. I was expected to compete. If I was going to go out and play with the boys, then don’t cut them any slack (he’d say), and don’t expect them to cut you any slack."
I was impressed when I heard her talk about this, recalling her own memories of football and her Dad. My football apprenticeship at my father’s side made me stronger, and better prepared to navigate the world of both men and women. I recognize that same ability in Senator Clinton, and in that interview I saw her appreciation of what her father had given her.
Fathers are so important to their kids. Much has been written about the guidance and healthy sense of self that men give to their sons. But Dads are not given enough credit for making their daughters into the women they become when they grow up. It’s not that my Mom didn’t have a hand in helping me become the woman I am today. But fathers are different. They don’t look like us, they don’t walk like us, so we’re only left with what they say to us, and how they treat us. If they treat us like we can break, we will be breakable. If they treat us as less, we will be less. But if they treat us like we're strong and capable of overcoming challenges, we'll grow up strong, willing to tackle challenges, and to overcome adversities.
We grow up to be leaders.
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