May I call you Joe? Thanks.
I hope you will take some of the valuable "real estate" - in which you have more than ably criticized Democrats - to be egalitarian in your criticisms and highlight some other forms of corruption in your next column.
It would only be fair and balanced.
And it would show the great depth of duty you feel towards your profession of choice. I hope you never forget the maxim "afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted".
My suggestion would be to use the "real" column that's printed in your wonderful magazine. That is the one where most Americans see you rail against Democrats
on a regular basis. That "web-only" thing is read by computer geeks
and lazy bloggers
, not quite the audience for your
If you are unable to come up with any topics, here are a few that might pique your interest (you like "pique"? Yeah, I thought you would.)
- Some guys named DeLay, Abramoff, Rove and Norquist storm the capital, rid K Street of its "lefties", defraud our Indian tribes of many millions of dollars, and use all that money to buy legislators' favors in a master plan to spread "Democracy".
- This same team lures unthinking innocents like Ney, Burns, Safavian, Wade, Cunningham, Harris and more into their dastardly scheme. All are threatened by investigations, indictments, and staff snitches.
- And a related bunch of the same group (we might call them "Republicans") also have poker and prostitution parties at the Watergate Hotel. I know this is a florid touch that even an anonymous novelist would throw away. But sleep on it, it may grow on you.
Maybe this story is too easy to write, Joe. Maybe that's why so many publications are waiting for the "other guy" to write it. It's just an idea, and hey, what do you expect from the fever swamps?
But wait, Joe! Here's a hook that will make all your readers bite - and it will fit right into the narrative you've constructed in your mind: compare this bunch to the lazy Negroes in Congress, the embarrassingly nefarious John Conyers and Charlie Rangel! Those congressmen may be the two worst in history, Joe.
You can use the pedestrian story of the largest and most corrupt bunch of elected officials and White House staff in our nation's history to highlight the dastardly anti-American activities of Messrs. Rangel and Conyers. It's a perfect story - and much more worthy of your byline.
I know you can do it, Joe. Please don't let me down.