In honor of my son's birthday (no fooling, it really is his 16th birthday) I offer you a potpourri of information from my favorite source of foolishness, a veritable fountain of consistent misrepresentation and misleading inferences, and the best source of spin anywhere.
Without further ado, everything I learned (and posted here) today, I learned from FOX NEWS (hat tip to Media Matters as my primary source):
More after the fold:
Terri Schiavo hasn't been examined for 10 years.
Michael Schiavo abused Terri and wanted to kill her to prevent anyone from discovering the truth about his abuse.
Michael also wants Terri's money.
Michael has prevented Terri from getting the treatment that could improve her condition.
Only Michael Schiavo has ever testified about Terri's wish to not be kept alive.
The Senate vote on the "Save Terri" bill was unanimous.
Activist Judges want to kill Terri Schiavo and are ignoring her due process rights.
The judicial rulings in the Schiavo case are bad for the economy and the stock market.
Liberals want Schiavo to die because they oppose the right to life.
Terri understands everything that is happening around her and is fully conscious.
Private accounts will make Social Security solvent, but without them the trust fund will be insolvent by 2018.
Bill Clinton approved private accounts when he was President.
FDR approved of private accounts for Social Security, as well.
Most Americans favor private accounts as the way to save Social Security.
Huge numbers of minorities support Bush's plan for private accounts.
Privatized social security systems have worked all over the world.
Democrats are dishonest about Social Security.
The Social Security Trust Fund is a fiction.
Bush Social Security plan won't include any benefit cuts.
Government regulation is stifling the economy.
The economy has never been stronger.
More tax cuts are needed to stimulate the economy.
Big federal and trade deficits are nothing to worry about.
Environmental scientists are unreliable and controversial, especially if they work for the UN.
There is no ozone hole, or if there is its size is exaggerated.
We aren't running out of oil. In fact we have more than we can ever use.
ANWR alone can provide us with enough oil to replace what we import from Saudi Arabia.
Global warming is a myth, and even if it isn't it will be good for us, not bad.
Concern about mercury pollution is overblown, and further regulation of utilities which burn coal is not necessary.
The Constitution doesn't include anything about gay rights in it because when the founding fathers were alive people were hung for being gay.
Gays can't have kids so they can't get married.
Gays are threatening the institution of marriage with their demands for special rights.
Guns are only dangerous in the hands of criminals.
Democrats want to take your guns away.
Iraq and Afghanistan
UN sanctions didn't stop Saddam from doing anything.
Interrogators didn't participate in the abuse at Abu Gharaib, only the MP's.
The use of torture is extremely isolated.
Saddam's WMD's were smuggled into Syria.
Rumsfeld isn't to blame for the lack of adequate body armor and armored vehicles.
Things are better in Iraq then media reports indicate.
The elections in Afghanistan and Iraq prove that Bush's policy to spread freedom in the Middle East was correct.
Most Iraqis support the American military presence in Iraq.
War on Terror
Military action in foreign countries like Iraq is the best way to fight terrorism, and most Americans (except Democrats) agree.
America isn't violating the Geneva Conventions, and AG Gonzales never suggested that we should.
Democrats and Liberals
Democrats want to kill babies (i.e., favor abortion) and save the lives of murderers.
Democratic representatives are "dodos" when they claim Congress should be investigating crime and poverty instead of steroids in baseball.
Elliot Spitzer is maliciously prosecuting the Insurance Industry.
Democrats use of the filibuster for the first time to stop judicial nominations is unprecedented.
Democrats are mainly responsible for the voter fraud and vote stealing that occurs.
The Democratic Party supports killing, lying, adultery, thievery, envy. Its platform violates every one of the Ten Commandments.
Democrats hate the military and refuse to support the troops.
Ted Kennedy is unpatriotic and hates America.
Democrats are racists.
Hillary Clinton is a witch.
Hillary Clinton didn't go to one funeral or one memorial service of any of the regular folks killed at the World Trade Center, but lied that she did.
There's an absence of evidence that Kerry participated in any combat in Vietnam.
Al Gore's a fruitcake.
Barbara Boxer is a nut.
Democrats rely on rhetoric, not facts, when attacking Bush.
Bill Moyers is a totalitarian.
The Judiciary is out of control, and is passing legislation in violation of our Constitution in its rulings from the bench.
Judges are encroaching on the authority of Congress and the President in violation of the separation of powers doctrine in the Constitution.
Republicans and Conservatives
Tom Delay is not in trouble and is being smeared by Democrats.
Opposition to Negroponte's nomination is based purely on partisan attacks and not on anything illegal he may have done in supporting the Contras and Honduran death squads.
Republicans in the Senate in the Clinton years never systematically tried to obstruct judicial nominees.
Prominent conservatives don't curse out Democratic leaders.
There was an absence of angry protests during Bush's most recent trip to Europe.
There's been a staggering increase in spending on food stamps and housing assistance for the Poor during the Bush years.
Bush's budget is "lean" and evidences "spending restraint."
Bush's Second Inauguration speech was one of the best ever.
Many more people love President Bush than hate him.
Bush is a doer, not a talker.
There should be more spankings in public schools.
Lesbian parents are just like bigamists in Utah or practitioners of S&M.
2004 Super Bowl halftime show simulated interracial sex.
The ACLU is a terrorist organization.
The Congressional Budget Office is a partisan Democratic organization.
There were no voting problems in Ohio.
Liberals attacked Christmas.
Giving blankets to illegal immigrants is like offering a burglar the right tools to break into somebody's house.
Drug importation from Canada won't save any money.
Engages in irresponsible journalism when it attacks Bush policies.
There isn't one conservative commentator at CNN.
Other media tried, in the worst way, to defeat President Bush.
Newspapers print propaganda paid for by George Soros.
The New York Times short changes the truth.
Jeff Gannon is a journalist.
Never parrots GOP talking points.
Saved Sponge Bob Square Pants from speculation he was gay.
Doesn't air one-sided stories favoring Bush and conservatives.
Is fair and balanced.