Just Say No Comment

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Monday August 25, 2008 · 12:03 AM PDT

2008/08/25 · 00:03

Today a FOX “reporter” ventured into the middle of a protest crowd with intent to provoke. “Fox reporter humiliated at Denver march” tells the story. Briefly, he succeeded in inspiring a chant of “Fuck FOX News! Fuck FOX News!” (which was gloriously uncensored on the live broadcast).

Certainly, there's much to enjoy about that clip. On the other hand, the dissenting opinion in “How is the Fox/Recreate68 incident good, exactly?” is not to be ignored. This was a win for FOX.

My first instinct was roughly: This is a fringe group; we don't control them. We may as well point and laugh at the idiot walking into the lion's den.

But if we can't control them, we might be able to influence them. We just need to make a campaign of it. A snappy slogan can be broadcast far and wide to even the most unherdable of cats. And so I present for your consideration:

Just Say No Comment.

The idea is simple: If you are asked a question by someone from FOX News, there is one and only one proper response: “No Comment.” If they press you? Say it again. No comment. Period. No hostility, disgust, or even contempt; just politely decline comment.

The advantages of “no comment” over “fuck you” are pretty obvious:

It is polite. While it may deprive the utterer of a certain rush, it will contrast nicely with the gibbering hack shoving a microphone in your face.
It deprives FOX of what they want. They want you to start chanting naughty things about them. You're the enemy, and everything you do to prove it only helps them.
If the activists are the adults in the room, national figures have much more room to be supportive. Obama's hardly going to say anything nice about the “Fuck FOX News” crowd — how could he? But a well-disciplined nonviolent protest is something to uphold.
Jackpot: There's the possibility that it'll piss off Murdoch's little minion, too. Picture a “reporter” getting increasingly desperate to find someone he can piss off, only to get nothing but smiles and polite turn-downs. Turn the tables and get him good'n pissed, and you've got YouTube gold.

Giving FOX the cold shoulder denies them everything, most importantly the footage of Dems getting all up in their grill. And if we can hit the jackpot as above, there's got to be at least as much schädenfreude in that as in the Recreate 68 clip. Reducing a FOX hack to a stammering, confused imbecile would be delicious. (Remember Bill O'Reilly trying to get Obama's attention?) Get that shit viral, and every Dem in America — PUMAs included — will want to see that happen up close.

So remember, kids. Just Say No Comment to FOX News. Pass it on.

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