You can imagine Michael Buffer introducing the candidates before the big contest:
And Fighting Out of the Red Corner, known the world over as The Keating Kid, The King of Right Wing, The Randy Reformer, The Phoenix Philanderer, The Count of Monte Crusto, The Crazy Curmudgeon, ladies and gentleman, John "Straight Talk" McCain;
His Running Mate, Also Out of The Red Corner:
the Alaska Disasta', the Wasilla Godzilla, the Dancin' Destroyer, the First Lady of Lobbyists, the Queen of Unforeseen (Political Liability), the Princess of Pork (With More Earmarks Than The Nebraska Livestock Exposition), ladies and gentleman, Sarah "Hockey Mom" Palin.
Again, please take this with a good spirit and light heart.
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