Frooooom dKos land, it's the Cheers and Jeers Show, starring Bill in Portland, Maine!
Bill's guest host today is AAbshier ("Doc") from Sarasota, Florida!
This is Ed McMahon along with Jdog, and the Cheers and Jeers Orchestra, inviting you to join Doc and his guests:
.....Maryscott O'Connor and her Flying Profanities of Death!
.....the Mattress King, Delaware Dem!
.....the Pootie-licious PhillyGal!
.....the comic stylings of PastorDan!
....and hundreds more Bobs, Bobettes, and others!
And now..............heeeeeeeeeeeeere's Doc!
I'm guest hosting on Mondays during the summer, while Bill takes some well-deserved three day weekends. Hope you like what I have for you here!
Cheers and Jeers MONDAY Guest Host Edition begins in the extended entry section........(swoosh!)....Right NOW! (Gong!)
DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, mattress photos, various insults to Armando, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
DOC'S BAD JOKE OF THE WEEK:
(In the yellow box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)
Some quick hits today, from Incompetech:
1. What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop, clop?
An Amish drive-by shooting.
2. What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, whack, damn; a bad skydiver goes damn, whack.
With a tip of the hat to BiPM, your doggie pic of the day: Whoa dere, podner! Aren't you a little short to be mounting that filly?
CHEERS to a real American hero--and we're not talking GI Joe. Audie Murphy was born this day in 1920. A son of Texas sharecroppers, he fought in nine major campaigns in the European Theatre with the U.S. Army's Third Infantry Division, and won every American medal (some more than once) for valor, including the Medal of Honor. He later went on to a Hollywood career, starring in 45 motion pictures. Take that, chicken hawks!
TEARS for one Army Niedermayer that didn't deserve to die. PFC Louis Niedermayer, of Largo, Florida, was buried at Arlington National Cemetery last Friday. JEERS to why he died: he was killed by a sniper on June 1st in Ramadi, Iraq--one more of over 1,700 American dead in this useless war.
CHEERS to good government. Thanks to outreach programs funded by the Florida Department of Health, the incidence of HIV/AIDS in the Florida black population has dropped 30% in the past six years, according to this article in the Tampa Tribune. This is great news for World HIV/AIDs Testing day, which is today.
CHEERS to a Republican calling bullshit when he sees it. Yes, it's true: Chuck Hagel (R-NE) laid the wood to Shrub in his recent comments in a U.S. News and World Report article. Coming soon: Grover Norquist calls Hagel's remarks "un-American" and that he will not be the R nominee in 2008. Let's hope Hagel says, "bite me".
JEERS to Joementum: The Second Coming. Joe Biden (D-MBNA) all but declared outright his candidacy for the 2008 nomination on yesterday's Face the Nation. In response, dKos poster tmo asked, "Can MBNA fund an entire presidential campaign?" Not to mention the Hair Club for Men?
CHEERS to cartoonist Brooke McEldowney, who tries to answer the eternally unanswered question. (check out the archive of his strips also--he draws wonderfully strong, intelligent women, far better than most other comics out there.)
JEERS to selling out. John McCain, once a revered maverick in the Republican Party, looked very much like a water carrier for the Shrub Adminsitration yesterday on Meet the
Russert Press. While he did get in a few mild digs at components of Administration policy, on the whole he was on board with the President on Afghanistan and Iraq. Hey, ex-POW, where is the denouncement of Guantanamo? Abu Ghraib? Torture?
CHEERS to the Greatest. On this day in 1967, Muhammad Ali was convicted of violating Selective Service laws by refusing to be drafted, asserting that he was a conscientious objector on religious grounds. His pacifist views cost him 3 ½ years of his boxing career, but helped galvanize the then-fledgling antiwar movement. The conviction would later be overturned by the Supreme Court in 1971.
JEERS to a future of more trash news. Jennifer Wilbanks, the "runaway bride", has signed a book and movie deal. According to this MSNBC article, she also has media handlers (!) telling her not to reveal too much of her story to the press. Tinfoil hat time: they're saving runaway bride stories to emerge in dribs and drabs when the R's get into hot water next.
Aside: Is it just me, or does Jennifer Wilbanks need to lay off the amphetamines?
CHEERS to the conservative Tampa Tribune for front-paging an article critical of WWWA (Where de White Woman At?) journalism. In particular, the story pointed out that those women who get national media are almost uniformly from middle to upper class families., at the expense of those from other socio-economic strata or of nonwhite races. Plus, as with everything else, good media skills are required from the families to keep the story in the news.
CHEERS to our Blacks everywhere who celebrated Juneteenth yesterday, celebrating the anniversary of the day, 140 years ago, that news of the Emancipation Proclamation reached the shores of Texas. Since then the observance has expanded from Texas to the nation at large, and while there is still much to do, it is worth remembering the day true equality between the races was, at least, declared.
JEERS to incredibly misplaced priorities. In Texas, where school budgets overall are under tremendous strain, expensive high school football stadiums, complete with luxury suites, plush locker rooms, and, in some cases, indoor practice facilities, are being built at various high schools at a cost of $20 to $27 million. Each. (Thanks to, of all places, News Of the Weird for the tip.)
(So it's a Weekend Edition title. Sue me)
We have a repeat winner! This week's award goes, once again, to Jeb!
Lately, when we've said Frist, we meant Dobson. We might say the same for the Governor of Florida. In the wake of autopsy findings on Terri Schiavo supporting virtually every diagnosis made by doctors who examined her, Jeb! has ordered an investigation on husband Michael Schiavo, examining circumstances surrounding Ms. Schiavo's initial collapse.
Now Jeb! has repeatedly declared that he is not a candidate for President in 2008--but if this isn't a Dobsonian maneuver, nothing is. Perhaps he's gunning to be Frist's running mate?
The floor is yours! What do y`all have to cheer and jeer about today?