And that, my friends, is why St. John the Insane and Holy Mother Sarah stand a very good chance of being elected on November 4th. Republican think tanks figured out decades ago that they could sell a president the same way that McDonald's sells hamburgers. Lots of pizazz, great visuals, hummable jingles, key-word slogans repeated over and over again, and above all, people just like you and me with happy smiling faces extolling the wondrous quality of the product. The First Rule of Advertising: "Sell the sizzle, not the steak".
Enter stage left in 1980, a B-movie star from Hollywood's golden age and later peddler of Borax soap on television, Ronald Wilson Reagan. Reagan's acting shtick was the guy next door, the Everyman, the hero with a heart of gold. He always had a hard time playing villains. When the casting calls and scripts stopped, Ronnie decided to try his hand at politics. After all, it's really just another part of the business we call "Show". A natural-born actor, he felt the role of the Republican candidate better suited him even though in real life he had been a life-long Democrat.
The Republican party in California. always heavily influenced by their proximity to Hollywood, choose to star him in their new production entitled "California Governor". (If that sounds strangely familiar you might want to check and see who the current governor of California is.) And sure enough, the role fit him like a glove. But you know actors, always looking for the role of a lifetime. So a few years later having honed his part as governor, Ronnie decided to take the show on a road tour to see how he played in the provinces in hopes of winning his biggest part ever, President of the United States. Pshaw!, I hear you say. No, it's true....honest.
And the national Republican party sat up and took notice. He chose to play the part in the persona of the big lovable galoot-next-door, but with a spine of steel when needed. And it was a box-office smash. No sooner could you say "Bedtime for Bonzo", there he was taking the Oath of Office as the 39th President of the United States. That's showbiz! And none of that fancy "issues" dialogue for him in this role. No sirree, Bob. Just honest talk to honest simple folk.
It was such a huge smash that it was held over for eight years. The first sequel starring Ronnie's understudy George H. W. Bush didn't do as well, as Bush couldn't shake his life-long character role as the upper class patrician. Reagan's folksy dialogue didn't ring true coming from a mouth that still had a silver spoon in it. But then, "magic time".
In 1999, the Republicans began work on a new production but this time with a rising new-comer who could be coached into the role. And with George W. Bush, a star was born. Using the same advertising techniques as they had with the selling of Ronald Reagan they once again proved H. L. Mencken right that "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public". With the help of huge supporting cast, Bush was boffo.
And now once again, the Republicans are rolling out their latest feature. It's basically the same plot as the other two hits they've had with pretty much the same dialogue. But this time they've got a grizzled old star in the John Wayne tradition sharing equal billing with a bright young female co-star kind of reminiscent of Doris Day who threatens to outshine him with her performance. And so far, even the doubting critics have been wowed by what they've seen in the trailers. Yup. Box office gold again.
The old maxim in showbiz is give 'em what they want, not what they need. To paraphrase a famous line from "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre": "Issues?...We don't need no stinkin' issues!"
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