In the annals of idiotic reasons for opposing gay marriage, is this cream of the crap explanation from The Weekly Standard -- it's not because they think homosexuality is icky or because the Bible tells them so, but believe it or not, by the end of the article you'll wish it was:
First, the four reasons that gay marriage is at odds with our "kinship" system:
So there you have it -- a look at what a policy discussion on gay marriage would have looked like had this been an issue in the 1950's.
And what does this all mean, according to the author? Why is maintaining the status-quo of this "kinship system" so important?
Few men would ever bother to enter into a romantic heterosexual marriage--much less three, as I have done--were it not for the iron grip of necessity that falls upon us when we are unwise enough to fall in love with a woman other than our mom. There would be very few flowerings of domestic ecstasy were it not for the granite underpinnings of marriage. [...]
... Every day thousands of ordinary heterosexual men surrender the dream of gratifying our immediate erotic desires. Instead, heroically, resignedly, we march up the aisle with our new brides, starting out upon what that cad poet Shelley called the longest journey, attired in the chains of the kinship system--a system from which you have been spared. Imitate our self-surrender. If gay men and women could see the price that humanity--particularly the women and children among us--will pay, simply in order that a gay person can say of someone she already loves with perfect competence, "Hey, meet the missus!"--no doubt they will think again. If not, we're about to see how well humanity will do without something as basic to our existence as gravity.
Words fail ...
(h/t to LaFeminista)