First, I am well aware of the immediate pain that was avoided by not shutting the government down. My wife works for the Federal government and makes far more than do I. We would have been personally hurt by a shutdown, unable to pay bills very quickly, and in danger of losing our house if the shutdown went more than a month. We have friends from whom we might have been able to borrow, except that there would have been no guarantee of our ability to pay them back - as I had noted in my diary the day before, with this Congress it was highly unlikely that those who were furloughed would be "made whole" the way we saw after previous shutdowns.
So why did I react the way I did? It is not just the deals that were cut, it was the President's reaction, as if he had done something good. When many had warned that it would come to this, that if he did not draw the line sooner he would find - again and again - that the Republicans would count on his being unwilling to stand up. Their willingness to push the limits as far as they could meant that unless we pushed back hard - and early, when it was not a crisis - they would take something important to us hostage and demand that we cave in order to save it.
Hostage-taking. No regard for those who might be hurt. Or as one person put it, he thought maybe he should start taking hostages because apparently the President only listens to those who have hostages.
I remember a candidate who told us that change occurs from the ground up. He also told us that we had to hold him accountable. He campaigned on hope, and on change we could believe in.
I am not an Obama hater. He was not my first choice for President - in fact he was my fifth last cycle. But once I came to supporting him I did so fully. We (wife and I) did campaign work. We gave money. I wrote on his behalf, here and elsewhere.
I do not want to revisit my statements of yesterday. They were not an immediate flash of anger. Yes, I am angry that it came to this, because many were warning that it would. I am disappointed that it did, but in many ways not suprirsed given the previous 2+ years.
There are achievements. I do not deny that. But they are far from what we were promised, far from what we had reason to expect.
I fully expect that Obama will be reelected. But that almost does not matter. Yes, I would prefer him to any Republican currently being mentioned, if for no other reason the appointments to the Supreme Court that may well occur before 2016 ends.
If we do not express how we feel and why, how can we expect those in positions of authority to know how deeply hurt we are?
For better or worse, I can offer thoughts and I will find that they resonate with some others, who thank me for giving voice to what they have been thinking, perhaps clarifying issues with which they have been struggling.
I do not expect everyone to agree with me. I do hope on this, as on any topic, it is possible to express deeply held disagreement without resorting to personal attacks.
I admit that after reading some of the comments on that diary I really wanted to attack back. For the most part I restrained myself. I got snippy a couple of times, and in least one case was misinterpreting the intent of the person with whom I got snippy. For that I am sorry.
But I am certainly NOT sorry for writing the diary and posting it. I felt I had to say what I did. It is what I feel.
I am getting old. I will be 65 in 43 days. I have wrestled with retiring from teaching and doing something else. I have now committed to at least one more year. I have students to help prepare for outside tests - AP and state, the latter for the last time. I want my students to be involved, to speak out on issues that matter to them. I believe I must model that for them. That is part of why I continue to post here, and elsewhere.
Feelings are raw here, which is not surprising considering how raw feelings are around the country. Last night I read both the Kristof op ed and the NY Times editorial with which Mark Sumner leads the Pundit Roundup. I put up links to both on Facebook, tweeted them, sent out emails to people. It is part of what I have always done, helped others to be aware of things I thought they ought to see.
Perhaps it is arrogant to think my personal thoughts are of any value to anyone other than myself. Yet when I offer them, people respond. So long as they do, I will from time to time offer them. As I did yesterday. As I am doing today.
Many moons ago, when still in my teens, I became active in Civil Rights. it started my senior year of high school, although my interest began when i first encountered segregation in Miami in 1956. One thing I learned during my limited participation was the notion that we can disagree without being disagreeable. It is not necessary to call someone who defends the President consistently an Obamabot. It is legitimate to believe that especially given the attacks he has faced since before he became President it is dangerous to show any weakness. It is equally unnecessary to launch personal attacks on those who offer criticisms of actions and words, and lack of either or both in specific cases. We elected a President, not a Prophet or a King or a Messiah. Presidents are human, political figures, and criticism is part of the environment in which they have chosen to operate.
I don't feel happy right now. I fear for the future of this nation. I am not sure what we can do to stop what is happening. I look back and see how much has already been surrendered.
I know these were not easy times upon which to assume the position of President. I am aware of many good things that have occurred. But I am also aware of failings, of abandonment of commitments, of disappointments that were unnecessary, even as I know it was not possible to achieve all that we had hoped for.
I do not at all regret posting my diary yesterday. Nor do I regret writing it in one burst, just letting it "hang out" - I had been thinking about aspects of what I wrote for some time, I had expressed bits and pieces of it in various posting over many weeks.
I hope against hope that this does not mean we will see even more giveaways when the Republicans threaten to refuse to raise the debt limit. I am hoping against hope that the fight over the budget for FY2012 will not have such deleterious results as we have seen recently.
I am hoping against hope. But my focus is now elsewhere, on helping those who in my opinion do listen. I want to feel as if my political efforts have meaning.
Some misunderstood the title. It is not that the President should listen to Ken Bernstein aka teacherken, one teacher who happens to have something of an audience as a blogger. This was not about my ego, as big and fragile as it may be.
I was expressing what I knew many felt, because I heard it and read it and watched it.
That's done.
Except I still owe the authors of several hundred comments my time and my eyes. Soon I will get through what is left of the comments.
Perhaps this diary is pointless. It will almost certainly be attacked. It will be misunderstood by some. So be it.
I have been a part of this community for more than 7 years. I felt I had an obligation to offer these words.
I have done so.
Now this is done.
And now I move on.
Peace.
Comments are closed on this story.