Cheers and Jeers for Monday, December 5, 2011
Note: ||||||||||||||||||||| (Time to trim your unibrow?)
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Iowa caucus and New Hampshire primary: 29, 36
Days `til the Army-Navy game: 5
Increase in vehicle sales between November 2010 and November 2011: 13.9%
Year-to-year increase for, respectively, GM, Ford and Chrysler: 7%, 13.%, 44%
(Source: USA Today)
Percent increase in the number of tweets written in Arabic over the last year: 2,000%
(Source: Time)
Rank of "iPhone," "Casey Anthony," "Japan earthquake" and "Osama bin Laden" among Yahoo's top search terms of 2011: #1, #2, #9, #10
Number of the three wise men who complained that some kid pounding away on a drum in the dead of night was "probably the worst present anyone could give a baby, let alone Baby Jesus": 1
NE Patriots 31 Indy Colts 24
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Puppy Pic of the Day Eight years later…Found!
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CHEERS to big bidness. Time's running out---the third annual Netroots Nation Holiday Bazaar online auction comes to a crashing halt at 10 ET tonight. The auction's an easy way to get some holiday shopping done and support a great cause (proceeds support the programs sponsored by Netroots Nation). There's a plethora of unique treasures, gifts, keepsakes and edibles for anyone on your holiday list, including:
Over 110 items on the virtual auction block! NO muss! NO fuss! NO trips to the mall! NO 8-hour delays on the tarmac! How much would you pay for all this? That's up to you! But bid early and bid often, because the Netroots Nation Holiday Bazaar online auction ends tonight at 10. Oh, and for an extra 50 bucks, John McCain will deliver your goods dressed as Santa. Or, for an extra hundred bucks, he won’t.
JEERS to bigger time wasters than Angry Birds. My headline for Saturday's major announcement: Cain Bails, Atlas Shrugs. Yes, Herman Cain, who offered absolutely nothing but platitudes for the gullible and facepalms for the rest of us, bowed out of the GOP presidential race. This bit of departing wisdom rivaled Sarah Palin's "Only dead fish go with the flow" as the silliest line by a cut-and-runner:
"We will move the shining city on the hill back to the hilltop."
How inconsequential was Cain's departure, seeing as everyone knew from Day 1 that he was not going to be the last man standing? Let me put it this way: MSNBC gave Chris Hayes approximately 3 minutes for analysis, and then they promptly returned to their prison snuff documentaries. Before we forget, C&J gives props to Jonathan Martin at Politico for his initial reporting on the adultery that brought Cain down. Still, I feel some sadness in watching Cain shuffle off to spend more time with his family's couch. Mainly because he promised he'd be back.
CHEERS to sweet victory. On today's date in 1792, George Washington won reelection. It was a brutal campaign. His challenger was a real jerk named...um...George Washington. Watching him debate himself was actually a little creepy: "Shan't!" "Shall!" "Shan't!" "Shall!" "Thy wife weareth the boots of a paymaster in the Continental Army!" "Okay, okay...thou hast me there, I concedeth the point." "Then bullocks to you, I win!" Oh...Did I mention he owned his own distillery?
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Over at Washignton Monthly, Steve Benen asks: News tip for the right: Simpson-Bowles is much further to the left than anything Republicans have been willing to even think about on debt reduction. Do they not understand this?
No.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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CHEERS to history in the making (aka The Maine Event). Portland's first elected mayor in 88 years takes the oath of office this morning. Michael Brennan, the victor over 14 other candidates in Maine's first election using a ranked-choice voting system, will grapple with employment issues, keep the business climate buzzing, battle the scourge of graffiti, and figure out how to play nice with the Occupy Maine protesters located just a mic check away from City Hall. And then…lunch.
CHEERS to speedy Kossack wish fulfillment. Larry King: "I want to be frozen." Weatherdude: Deep freeze set to envelop U.S. this week. The National Association of Gays, Feminists and Pagans for Climate Calamity issued a brief statement: "Wow---he's good."
CHEERS (at least on his birthday) to #8. Martin Van Buren (aka "Martin Van Ruin") turns 229 today. He sat around picking his nose during the panic of 1837, and was on duty during the time of the shameful Trail of Tears. And talk about your Herculean wafflers:
Martin Van Buren was renowned for not taking a stand. One story, which Van Buren admits to in his autobiography, tells how one senator accepted a bet that he could actually make Van Buren admit to something with finality. "It's been rumored that the sun rises in the east," said the senator to Van Buren. "Do you believe it?" "Well, Senator," came the reply, "I understand that's the common acceptance, but as I never get up till after dawn, I can't really say."
---From The Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents by Cormac O'Brien:
See, Romney? That's how a pro does it.
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Five years ago in C&J: December 5, 2006
GOOD RIDDANCE to John Bolton. Despite a desperate plea from his wife to keep him away from home a bit longer, the U.S. Hater of the U.N. joins Brownie, Powell, Rumsfeld et al. on the growing scrapheap of exiled Bush administration failures. Good luck with that mall Santa gig in Hackensack, buddy.
JEERS to the worst of the worst. Columbia University professor Eric Foner says President Bush is our Worst President Ever for some good reasons: He's "stubborn, narrow-minded, unwilling to listen to criticism or to consider alternatives to disastrous mistakes" like Pierce, Buchanan, and Andrew Johnson. He's "channeling money and favors to big business" like Harding and Coolidge. He displays "disdain for the Constitution and abuse of presidential power" like Nixon. And toss in Polk's "unprovoked attack" on Mexico for good measure. So, to summarize: Last in war. Last in peace. And last in the hearts of his countrymen.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the new kids on the tube. Current TV's live news lineup, under the direction of Keith Olbermann, debuts some new but familiar faces this evening: The Young Turks starts its weekday run in the 7pm time slot. And talk about stacking the deck: Alan Grayson will be one of their first guests. Given that Cenk Uygur is no longer tethered to MSNBC's fussy beltway bobblehead demands to "act like an insider," expect him to haul heavier rhetorical artillery onto the set. We hope he and the crew find a happy home at Current, and enjoy a successful run. My only advice: give that bleep button a workout.
Have a riotous Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Preparations by Democratic operatives for the 2012 election make it clear for the first time that the party will explicitly abandon Cheers and Jeers."
---Thomas Edsall
11/27/11
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