It begins over a decade ago - when she is forced to make a life altering decision.
Where you wake up one day, wanting to change your life. Your in a country where it is okay for your husband to beat you, even rape you against your will. He may take your money; because might makes right in my South American country and women are not equal here. After a series of bad times your mom enourages you and gives you her savings. A few others who know you are a good person, do so as well - secretly - because the trust you to repay. In our country, if someone goes to United States, funded by others; you simply send back a few ounces of gold from your new found wealth. It is easy to do so, from what anyone shall receive; once they arrive in the land of American Dream.
It is hard to stay calm and focus as your pulse runs amuck; due to your relentless excitement. Journeys from anywhere near the global equator, takes you up through Central America, past, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Belize and into Mexico. Your journey is froth with peril and arduous. No one tells you of the facts that police in some of those countries will arrest you and enslave you. After all, who are you going to tell.
You soon learn from the more expierenced travelers (those deported more than once), that you don't want to get caught before you make it to the Mexican/American border. If so, you will become a slave. You may have to work for free, be forced to cook, clean and even have sex. If the worst things do occur -you simply must suck it up. You can and will endure - as long as they do not beat you.
It is simply the price of admission to the golden land of opportunity.
Many fables are told without the facts being included. The most worse ones by envious people who have disdain for you going where angels often fear to tread. They banter and spout bad language and thoughts saying "that I sent my daughter", "we sent our brother" and "we never heard from them again". I remember many of the gossips in our town. That they would bark selfishly "the bastards now live in luxury and have forgotten about us".
If only such were true. Unfortunately, some of us fall of trains, others become permanent slaves, some are robbed and oft times imprisoned unjustly. Others simpy die from lack of medical attention or proper planning. Without water and food; your body and mind can get you into serious trouble. Others are murdered for money, to cover up the abusive crimes of torture or rape against them. Some are forced to try to sneak drugs across country lines. If they kill you, maybe you'll get lucky to be cremated or thrown in the sea; instead of being dumped in the woods.
Continuing;
As the journey takes me into Mexico, I am raped twice. Once on a train, another time where several of us were put in jail. In the police station, I knew they were going to get me; so I simply planned how to get out by giving them all that they wanted and more. Once they were drunk and asleep, I simply made my way out the door, stole their jeep and drove west - instead of north.
At the new town I went to, I sought out one of those places who chop up cars. After trying to negotiate price, his brother drove up. When he stepped out of his truck I could see he was a Policia Federal de Mexico; -- I thought I was dead.
However, they were good men, who said that they did not approve of their neighbors bullying ways. He said he could not give me money so that he could destroy his enemies car. But he was going to charge him to return it them and he gave me 1000 pesos (half of what he would charge them to process the car back). Saying he would be happy to tell the story.
I did not know if it was the truth, or just a scheme to get the jeep cheaply. Being that I was scared and now glad not to be arrested, I agreed. They fed me, and put me on a bus; promising to not let those who raped me know for 2 days - about his jeep.
A friend who was a wolf;
Then I made it to another train. Being foolish, I found and made a woman as a friend; thinking we would have safety in numbers. After I bought us breakfast, she and her two friends robbed me of the money. Fortunately, though I had considered telling her about the jeep and the Policia; I did not do so. Now I am very glad that the pesos are all she took from me.
Having no money and worried very mucy, I hid in the bushes and waited for the next day's train. Too scared to journey with them any longer. I then found a job for 3 days, making tortillas in a very hot factory (it was August). We were fed rice & beans, which I love. Then he paid me only 1/2 of what he said he would - equal to only $10 for the 3 days. Just another expensive lesson on this journey to America.
But, I am on my way again. It is rough going now, the box-car in the train is real hot, my clothes are drenched with sweat; others are fighting over water. Then a real beautiful, but older woman refuses to have sex with a bully and his 2 cabron's. He tries to force himself upon her, she pulls out what seems to be a knife and they beat her and toss her off the train. I cried and shimmered from fear for miles. Then the train comes to a bend, slows down and everyone starts jumping off. The ole man and girl next to me tell me - "that they inspect the train ahead and arrest anyone found on board"; we have to jump off here.
Finally, a break from decent human beings;
Turns out the old man and his daughter have made the journey before. Both of them have been deported twice. We have some tortillas and rice. I tell him I have a 5 year old daughter and I am going to the United States to send back enough money to make sure she is not abused by any husband. When they learn that I am a banker, know English and can do book keeping; he then telephone'sl his brother in Ixtapa. He asks me if I want to go with them to visit his brother.
It did not take much persuasion, I needed a break from the heat and Ixtapa is by the ocean. So he then talks me into going back southwest with him to Zihuatanejo. The deal is, if I will stay and do his books for 2 weeks, they will pay me each day in pesos -what equals $10 and also they will feed me. From there he will help me get to America. I am worried that this will be like the friend I trusted who robbed me; but his daughter seems to loves her pa pa - so he can't be all bad.
After we get there, things are so good, I almost wanted to stay. The very first night, we have beans and fresh tortillas with butter. They let me cook the rice crispy (which I love) and I drink so much horchata - I am sick.
Then I find out that the ole man is charging his brother $25 per day and keeping the other $15. I get so mad I leave. This was really stupido on my part. Realizing I was happy with the $10 a day, and that we also eat pork and chicken nearly every night - like rich people do - I go back and apologize. I stayed for 4 weeks and even sent $200 home to my moma and daughter. The $200 is a full months pay in my country.
We go to get on a train and head up north. We are stopped outside of town and everyone looks out - it is Policia Federal de Mexico and they are not friendly this time! They take the ole man and his daughter. They beat the ole man, putting him in police car and taking his daughter who knows where. I begin crying and shaking again.
They did not search me and steal my money; and say they will release me if I pay a fine. But I am afraid to let anyone know I have anything. I am permitted to use my phone card and call my mom. She has to send back $100 to get me released.
Worried and sad about what happened to the ole man and his daughter, I cry alot. But I am afraid to ask any questions. Immediately, I go back to Jose's brothers place and tell him what happened. He goes to his safe and gets money & gun. He said he will be back in a few hours and I can stay until he returns. I am really so very scared about the gun. I rush through his house and I eat. Then I go and sit in the woods; waiting to see if he returns or the Policia. I never laid eyes on the ole man Jose or his daughter again.
My first American friend who makes me really believe in America;
Immediately, I go back to Jose's brothers place and tell him what happened. He goes to his safe and gets money & gun. He said he will be back in a few hours and I can stay until he returns. I am so scared about the gun; so I eat and go sit in the woods and wait. The next morning I wake up, still no one has returned. But there is a man sitting outside. Do not know what made me go down there, but I went.
Jose's brother has a boat cleaning business, as many wealthy foreigners come to Ixtapa. He complained much though as the police there and politicians would come and tax/fine him often; even though his books shows he pays two people monthly for protection.
The man sitting on the porch in the rocking chair is seeking to get workers to clean his boat. He trust this business because the owner does not hire anyone who steals. He asked when he will be back and I told him he went to town on business. Then he said - "is there anyway we can call him; I have to leave today and will pay for the plane ticket and double the cash payment for the cleaner to ride with me for a few days" - he had a big party traveling with him on the boat.
So I ask him where he is going to and he says he is going to the big race in Baja Mexico. Then I said, let me go inside and make some calls. I go in, act like I am dialing, speak fast spanish (the Boat owner speaks real slow spanish). At the same time, I look in the books what Manuel charges this boat guy. It is $125 per day, per person.
Worried and excited, I said that he must take me to his boat and explained what he wants done. He shows me where the workers will sleep and I find out that there are 2 others on board who speak spanish. 1 from El Salvador and the other from Guatemala. The boat owner and I make a deal. He wants 2 cleaners, but I convince him that because he is a good customer; that I will do the job myself.
It is a wonderful trip, except I got sea sick 3 times. They drink, they party and there are several girls running around with no tops on. If this is how America really is - I am getting excited. It is the first time ever - that I get to eat steak. When I am eating chicken one day, I am eating the bones - like we do in our country. One guy is making fun out of me saying "you would think they could hire help whose dream of a great meal one day - is not McDonalds chicken nuggets". All I can think about, is the fact that none of these people know how luckly they are. When we eat chicken and pork in my country; it is once a week and we eat every piece - bone, skin, fat and all.
The cleaning job is easy and I even became friends with the boat owner. He is a Captain from the US Navy and loves the water. He does not play around with the young girls and has a pretend girl friend on board. After his prying questions on where I was from and such; I tell him part of my story - but make it seem like years ago. He, in turn, tells me that this trip is all business. Two of the guys are big business men that he must make happy; no matter what. One night we talked so much, I fell asleep on his chest until the waves got choppy and woke us both up.
Being discovered brings fear and blessing;
One of the passengers is real rude and mean, so I stay away from him as much as I can. He spits on the floor and says "Chico - come get some dinner and good American wine". The Captain scolds him more than once and even threatens to throw him off the boat. Then, the afternoon before we are to be in Baja, the mean man is real drunk, he hits one of the workers and says come here and strip - all you wetbacks illegal immigrants need to learn your place. He looks directly at me and says "you look like one of those border fence rats - maybe we should shoot you". I turn white inside. My hands are shaking so much - I cannot control them. The Captain hands me a towel and tells me to go to my room for the day.
He comes to my room later and talks to me. Without any doubt he says, he knows by how my face went nearly pale (I am real dark complexion); that I must be from some other country than Mexico. He promises me that he will help me if I want him to; that I can even stay on his boat and work. I break down and cry, he is so good a man. I tell him what has happened. He takes me in his arms and hugs me, kisses me on the head and says don't worry - everything is going to be okay.
The next day, while we are docked in Baja Mexico, he says - I have to leave my boat here; but - if you wish you can take a job with another Captain. I asked who, silly I ask for how much and where is he going.
Turns out the other Captain is a long time friend. He made a deal with him, because the man owes him his life for some reason; that this Captain will take me into the United States to somewhere called Laguana Beach. The one thing the other Captain insisted on - is that he only pays me $1 dollar for my work.
This wonderful man makes me cry and I want to call my momma. I hug him and kiss him; I would do "anything" for him. He says no - NO! I am doing this for you and do a good thing. Go, be happy, learned to speak English better and maybe we will run into each other again - in America; this is your chance - don't waste it! At that time I am packing up my papers, my 3 sets of clothes - he also gives me $1000. It is more money than I have ever seen in my life for me. I will never, Ever - forget him.
A week later - I am in America. The Captain went through customs, they did not even come to my room or make me go and speak to anyone; for he does this same trip all the time and they know him well. He even gives me $250 and buys me 2 outfits; telling me that "if you look and act like an American - no one will bother you". He has his driver take me to Orange County.
"Now in America - where do I go"
Wow - I have actually made it to the United States, past the world famous fence line border. There are so many people and so many cars everywhere. The first week I stay at a hotel that is almost all Mexican people. I learn to buy a purse and put money in it with a bunch of ones and hide the rest of the money inside my pants. The hotel is $210 per week, I cannot last long like this - I must find work and make some friends.
One guy has been deported 5 times. He says it costs between $1500 and $2500 dollars to get coyotes to get him to that weeks easy border crossings. He is a mechanic and makes real good money - more than $500 per week, because he loves his cars and has a good ear for what is wrong with engines. He is missing 2 teeth, because police arrested him 3 weeks ago at his job and beat him up to get money from him or deport him. I did not want to believe and have fear of this too - in America; but he says it is better than being deported and I have been through worse.
We become friends and I agree to move in with him. He even gives me his money to hold, saying if they catch me again - they will only get very little. I am now Home - in the United States - I am so happy. He takes me to Western Union and I send $400 to my moma and daughter. He says he sends $325 every month.
We have wonderful times. I find a job cleaning and make $150 per week. Thus I am able to pay my share of the room. Almost never have to pay for food, my roomy now boyfriend loves my cooking for him. For 2 years everything is wonderful, I am now making $200 per week and many people want me to become their permanent employee and move in.
"I learn that some people in America are as evil as can be"
Finally, I think it is time to move on, my roomy has become proned to drinking often and getting into fights in bars. He never hits me - but I am scared he may do so. I leave his money in the room in our hiding place and take a job with a woman who has a wonderful house and is putting me in her mother's cottage. It is a smart thing for American people to have a cottage for in-laws; she does not like her mother in law at all.
Everything is going along fine, and then after about 4 weeks, the lady who hires me changes our arrangement. She says I must sleep in a bed in the garage, because her in laws are coming and she will only pay me once a month during the summer.
At the end of May, I ask her for my money and she says she cannot pay it until her husband comes back from Europe; he has gone away for the summer businesses there. I am very mad, I sent $200 every month to my mama and daughter; how can I explain to them the money is not going to come for so long. We argue some and she gives me $100; which I have to send immediately to my family.
During my work and cooking for her, I meet many of her friends and family. They all ask her if I can come work for them and she says no. It makes me mad even more. This is all made much worse, when it comes July and my daughter is very sick, I go to the lady I work for to get money to send for medicine.
For several weeks we argue and then in August she gives me $20. I throw it back at her and scream. She says "you raise your voice to me one more time - you ask for money one more time - and I will have them deport you; I have your Western Union receipt and will give it to the Police".
So I call the only other friend I have, the mechanic. He is now very sick and if I had waited one more week, he was getting rid of his beeper and getting a cell phone. They are still paying him $500 per week to help manage the repair shop - because the new kids have no experience; but he is in a wheelchair now. I move into the room with him behind the garage - it is August 2001.
"9/11 Changes everyones world"
A few weeks later, he winds up in the hospital. I am looking for a job to clean anywhere; then 9 11 happens. Everyone is in shock. Rumors fly, stories of arrests transpiring for any reason are plenty. I am scared that I am going to be deported.
My roomy winds up in the hospital. We can only visit him at the very early hours in the morning. They say immigration gets alot of people and their families from the hospital; it is like fishing in a barrel.
My friend dies and the owner of the garage says I can stay for 2 more weeks; but he is going to sell his business in November as my roomy was his key to success. But he does offer that I can stay at his house until after Christmas. He lives in Northridge and I might be able to find work there. I know he really wants to just have sex with me; but I have no where else to go - and 9/11 has everyone fearful of being deported. There are already rumors all around - that no one will ever get a green card again.
But the move turns out okay. Yes, the old guy pressures me every day - to sleep in his room. He reminds me that people are being deported daily and that the borders of America will be now locked permanently. I tell him that I will sleep with him, if he promises never to hit me or be mean to me; that I am not his wife - if I clean his house I want to be paid. He smiles from ear to ear and just says "How much"?
"Another nice man and a new beginning"
For several months I stay. Some weeks he pays me for cleaning and some weeks he does not. He has sold his garage and gambled the money away at the Casinos; now all he has is his retirement and SS. It is good pay for him; but leaves little to spare to pay someone like me. Plus sex with him is very bad; he has no idea what a tongue is for.
Then I meet a neighor of his. He says he will pay me to clean his daughter's and sons house. He is a real good cook from Italy, I never had lasagna before. He also makes salads that are wonderful and loves wine. He tells me that he is about to buy a house several miles away. That he will not tell my current roomy of the address. He will pay for me to stay at a hotel by his son and daughters. He is real smart. By my moving out several weeks before he puts his house up for sale; there is no way my current roomy can figure out where I went. So off to the hotel I go.
We make a deal, I will clean where ever he wants me to and he will pay me $500 cash per week and a place to stay. I move into his mother's cottage at his new home. He tells me I can call it my home.
For the next few years, life is wonderful. I clean his house, he helps me get my license and even hires a lawyer for my green card. Worker with his son and daughter, they are not mean. It is obvious all they want from their dad is money and he knows this. He says he will hang onto life as long as he can; just to deprive them of the money as long as he can.
One year his daughter gets in deep trouble, she and her co-workers stole money from their company. She bought boats, rings and a fur coat. Then she got caught. Her dad had to sell one of his shopping centers to pay her fines and settle with the company so she did not go to jail. After that - he cut off giving his kids money all the time; says he regrets spoiling them. He cried and said he felt so alone. That night I rubbed him down in his bed and then laid with him. We did not have sex, but I finally felt not only loved - but in love with someone that was really good. At least this guy would never beat me.
"Family greed is an ugly thing"
After he bailed out his daughter, his son demanded money equal for himself. He fought with his dad, threatening to beat him up or throw him in an old fooks home. Said he would have him arrested for having an illegal alien in his house. Though I was obviously stricken with fear and began crying; his father took his son by the hand and said;
"Here is her green card and if you Ever threaten to put her in harm's way again - I will sell everything I own for $1 and shoot you dead"!
Though it was a rough 2 years after that, we had wonderful times. He gave his son some money every few months and his daughter too. Often he was very ill, but some weeks and even months, he would feel fine. He took me on my first and only plane rides ever. We went on vacation to New York for him to meet with a lawyer from Little Italy there. He said he was leaving me his house and $100,000. Though I was thankful for his great jesture; I truly adored him and the way he treated me - so I never signed the paper. -- What a big mistake.
A few weeks later he died. He had another son who came from Italy and took over from the other two more greedy kids. Instead of giving me the house that his dad provided for in his will, he and his lawyer said they would only pay to finish me becoming an American citizen - if I would sign their papers.
Then they gave me the title to the used car and $3000 dollars. They said I could have anything in the house I wanted; but I had no idea what antiques are - or worth. So I left, sold the car and began to worry real bad; where I could go.
Of course, they never did pay to finish my citizenship. After all the changes from 9/11, I am scared to do anthing or go anywhere that would put me in jeopardy. I realized now - that the immigration border is a two way prison. My daughter is grown now and my mother is aged. There is no way I can go see them and ever come back here. Nor can I afford to bring them here. Sometimes I really wonder if I outwitted my own self.
"From the out of the frying pan and into the fire"
Now I am almost an old gal myself, being 37 years old. There are laws all over the place that makes anyone fearful to hire you. Arizona, where my family lives, they are all moving from; because the authorities there are on a mission to send everyone back south of the border.
When my italian friend would take it easy, he would go and play $1/$2 stud at a local casino in Los Angeles. He would give me money to play too; it was fun. When I was there there was a man who knew my Italian friend and said his wife was dying. If I would come and clean their house, I could have a room and he would pay me $100 a week. So I moved in.
Big mistake. Everyone said that he don't get involved with people that gamble. But this guy was younger than my other friend. He was good looking, big and strong; even though he had several illnesses himself.
His sons however, were mean and evil bastards; greedy in every evil sense of the word. While their mom was dying, the one son actually threatened to yank out tubes from her chest, if he did not get part of the medical settlements.
Turns out the fruit does not fall far from the tree. I became his medical assistant and house cleaner. From there, one day I feel asleep in his bed and then we became lovers. He had money, owned his own house and gambled much. Whenever he was short of cash, he would become real mean. Despite the signs, I married him several years after his wife died; because his sons threw him out of his own house and stole all the money by making a false will. Seems to be a pattern in America. One thing that does not happen in my country - is abuse of your parents. Family is everything.
"Life now sucks - I may have missed my last good chance".
During our ordeal with his sons, I got to see the true nature of my husband. He is a manipulator. Many times we went to court of probate; him trying to get paid. We got an attorney, but he was a crook as well. He said he was a professional at such law, but then admitted to the court it was his very first and only estate case. Out of millions of dollars we lost the house and my husband only received several hundred thousand dollars; which a great portion went to his attorney - despite the bad case handling.
While in the battle, we met a friend, one who believes in fighting evil people. I always liked him and offered to be a good friend to him several times. He always said no - because I was married. A rare quality for my country or America.
The person helped us defeat the evil kids for a time; even getting us many court victories. But my husbands greed, mean ways and evil nature was viewable to the court; so we lost all our cases - eventhough this man made a good effort.
One night, while he was asleep, I slipped into his bed. He had told me how his wife would simply scratch his bottom and make him purr in his sleep. This I did and then took advantage of having him corned - where he could not yell out no. Even though my husband is deaf, this man's voice booms. He simply gave in to my forceful advances. I knew he had not been with another woman for several years.
Often thereafter, I would tell him I would pay for a hotel. He took me out to dinners and paid over $100 each at places I never dreamed of ever stepping inside of. PF Chang's, Ruth Chris, Del Frisco's and Benihana's. (I really loved Benihana's and the hot fresh rice and lobster). Yet, he would always reject my advances. Saying no.
After my husband and I did lose our case against the evil and greedy kids; we were forced to move out. I stayed up all night long and packed. One of the papers I came across was the Temporary Restraining Order I took out on my husband. Several times he had hit me and I finally called the police.
Then I think of this man whom I could love. He is sweet, like the Italian guy, but much younger. He also knows what his fingers, lips and tongue is for. Though he is powerful, he is a gentel lover. He gave my husband and I monies; helping in every way he could.
When you get an eviction notice from court, it is only a few days later that you have to leave. When they come, the Sheriff does not give you time to collect your belongings; you are tossed out with what you wear. Our friend had begged us on Friday night, to take his valuables to his storage locker. We told him NO; that we wanted to go to the casino and just forget about it all. That we would help him move over the weekend.
He had other case files and some computer back ups that were precious to him. So he did not wait for me to wake up. He left a note knowing that I went to sleep at 6 a.m.; because I did awake him and offer to be with him one more time. Again he said no - that I was married - and he had to protect his case files in the morning. That he could not take the risk that the Sheriff would not come until Monday.
So, when I awoke, I was pissed. When he called and said he would come back and sleep on our sofa; until we were evicted - I told him NO. He should feel hurt the same ways I do now.
Conclusion
We were evicted, I am now with my husband, who is mean, abusive, old, weak and selfish. He gets $3000 every month from SS and retirement. As soon as he pays his rent and heart medicine; he gambles away all the money in 3 days - unless he gets lucky.
As for the last chance at a good man. We pass each other by once in a while. I am too pissed and proud to admit I might be wrong. The other day a friend walked up and handed me $25 out of the blue. He said he won some money - but I know better - we have a network that lets everyone know - when anyone we know - has won anything; so we can all get lucky chip.
It has occurred to me, that this is the 3rd or 4th time this friend has walked up and given me $25, or $50; saying he has won and not explaining how. Could it be that he is getting it from someone else; I know he is a good friend of the guy who stayed with us!
So here is my life now, having endured the perils of getting through the Amazon, death traps, robberies and rapes (even one time in America). I am now with a husband who beats his wife, is a degenerate gambler and I cannot get a job; because I dare not risk the green card/visa status being revoked. Many argue I do not know the law, but I know many latinos' with the similar set of circumstances get deported.
My daughter is fully grown and do to the current circumstances, I cannot count on being able to send money to her and my mother anymore.
It may also be, that I have become what I ran from. For I did strong arm sex in a way and then became spiteful/mean to an innocent person. Here I am in the land of Golden dreams, the United States of America. Will I ever see my child again? Will I see my mother one more time; before she passes on? When my mean old cuss of a husband succumbs to his age and illnesses; what will become of me and my status? Bad times in America are still way better than average times in my country; but is it worth all that was lost in the process? Sure, my child received much better than I did and is now spoiled with a huge closet of clothes her friends are envious of; but is that worth us not being together for over 14 years?
In outwitting the INS - I may have outwitted myself and fenced myself in!
The story is brought to you by one who knows. Where hands are held crossing the Temucla or I-5 Interstate Hwy Customs stations and a girl would squeeze my hand like a vice - due to her fear of getting caught.
Having participated in a way that no one can figure out (Have fun trying). It shows that life is a journey. We can all suffer much, achieve our dreams and wake up into the reality -
"when you get what you wish for - will it be worth it"?
See this story on Abuse that goes "un-reported" due to immigration status;
http://articles.latimes.com/...
Does "Adrijana" deserve a break? Has she suffered enough, yet proved to you that she is worthy of American citizenship? Are those who suffered less - not worthy?
AT the end of your days on this Earth; will you be able to look back upon life and say you were a decent human being? That you treated your fellow man and woman in a manner you wished to be treated?
If you vote yes - to give her a pass - certifying her to have US Citizenship;
then G-d bless and thank you!
On the other hand, if you say no - the law is the law - that is it. Then consider this. If you are the selfish, greedy, mean bastard who raised meaner kids and this gal is your wife. Would you want your "laws" and rule of zero tolerance - to be applied in such a strict way - that you would have your wife deported tomorrow?
And live the rest of your elderly, lonely days - without her!
You either have a heart or you don't!
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