Remember that group of American Taliban that was meeting way down yonder in Texas? You know, the one that is looking for a good Christofascist to rally around to keep the Massachusetts Mormon Moderate from getting the nomination that Jesus clearly does not want him to get?
They've settled on a candidate to rally around.
Think Progress reports that more than two thirds of the 150 representatives of the American Taliban Council... sorry... the Family Research Council and other religiofascist organizations have decided that Jesus wants the nomination to go to Rick Santorum.
Deep down, I always knew Jesus had a thing for Obama. By rallying around Santorum, the Christofascists believe they are doing God's work by giving "His party's" nomination to the foamy one. But that sly Jesus... he's a tricky one! After all, he's the one who told Bachmann and Cain and Perry to run, knowing they'd bring an air of comedy to the race.
And as Romney is the only one of the current pack of clowns with even an outside chance of beating Obama, Jesus undoubtedly knew it was time to settle down and get serious. He ordered the faithful to rally around the person in the race who is least likely to beat President Obama. Not the man with the magic underwear (which, however you cut it is NOT Christian... it's CULTIST) to the man with the magic sweater vest (which makes much more sense from a biblical standpoint, I'm sure).
Good old Jesus! He always comes thru in a pinch.
The man who promises to have all gay marriages annulled...
The man who opposes any sort of birth control and would make it illegal...
The man who would choose the life of a fetus over the life of a living woman...
The man who would raise the retirement age for Social Security...
The man who would privatize Medicare...
The man who thinks Obamacare will "rob America of its soul"...
The man who thinks health insurance should not cover basic care...
The man who said "People die in America because people die in America"...
The man who would free business from all its burdensome rules and regulations...
This is the man Jesus wants to be the Republican nominee.
All of which can only mean one thing.
Jesus is looking forward to a second term for President Obama. And he's counting on the Christofascists of the American Taliban to do as they're told without questioning.
Praise be!