(Not really a) Press Release from The Onion:
We regret to inform our faithful readers that upon seeing a video of Mitt Romney defending his omission of the troops from his speech we have decided to pack it in. Because seriously, you are running for President of the United States and you don't think it is important? You don't say that, even if you think it. Christ! We ran that by our editors as a test and they told to stop fucking around. Then we told them it was real and they cried and got into the fetal position.
The task of making outlandish shit up has becoming impossible in light of the real world outlandish shit already happening. The line has become too blurred and quite frankly we are simply not capable of shining a light on the absurdity of the world that is its own fusion reactor of iridescence.
Some may think that it was just this one thing but it wasn't. Did you know a politician made a statement with a number and everything in it and then explained himself by saying it "wasn't meant to be a factual statement?". No really that happened, we didn't make it up. Or get this, there were folks at the Republican Convention espousing how their businesses didn't get built by government, while taking governmental money to survive. Yes that also happened!
Or here's a good one that is totally true. There was a House committee hearing on contraception, that included NO WOMEN. "What?" you say, "That is clearly a lie or a joke", but it isn't. It's real...like real people did that thing.
And then there is this thing called Honey Boo Boo that quite frankly is beyond satire, it is a new pardigm.
So seriously we give up.
Anyway,thank you for your support.