Mike Adams, a conservative supposedly running for president, wrote a column for TownHall.com outlining the base-pandering plan he intends to implement immediately upon taking office.
His current top priority will be to prevent tragedies like the Sandy Hook Elementary School Massacre from ever happening again:
As I discuss this sensitive topic, it is also incumbent on me to sound more rational and articulate than the incumbent. That will not be difficult.
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Mike Adams wants to be president
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| That a non-incumbent, no-name, wannabe politician representing the same party responsible for George Bush, in a moment of divine incumbancy, starts his column by insulting an incumbent Democratic President should give you an idea of what lies ahead. But first...
[STANDING OVATION]
Step one of his plan involves teachers:
So instead of having a college degree and teacher certification, I believe that states should make teachers have a college degree and a concealed weapons permit. This will pay off in three distinct ways if states also change their laws to allow those with permits to carry on campus.
Get rid of the certification process, and give them guns, instead. The benefits according to him:
1. Reduced violence. First and foremost, concealed weapons permits decrease violence. The rationale is simple if we consider that crime only happens when a motivated offender encounters a suitable target in the absence of a capable guardian. [...]
As usual, conservatives are oblivious to the fact that not one of the 62 mass murders in the 30 years has been stopped by armed civilians. It gets worse:
2. More male teachers (and fewer metrosexual students). Some have suggested that most female teachers would not feel comfortable around guns. [...]
For far too long, men have been grossly underrepresented in the teaching profession. This has had a profound impact on young men. [...]
A constant concern with pleasing women eventually turns a man into a woman. That is why we have so many young adult metrosexual males talking about their feelings.
He undoubtedly has the data to back up the claim that men, after long-term, chronic sensitivity to the needs of the opposite sex, actually become women themselves.
While we're waiting for his post to be updated with the link to this evidence, I will make the less-controversial claim that his statement is probably the most idiotic thing I have ever heard, and continue on:
Simply put, having gun toting male role models in the classroom will be good. Having your student taught by Ted Nugent just might keep him from becoming Ted Baxter.
Dude, I don't want Ted Nugent within 10 fucking miles of any school. Ever.
But if Mr. Adams really thinks he has a chance on the national stage, he should pick Charlotte Allen as his running mate. She shares his views about husky males and where women belong in society, but he'd have to overlook the fact that she's a...woman.
3. Fewer liberals in the teaching profession. For years, conservatives have been looking for a cure to the problem of liberal indoctrination in our schools. [...]
He's going to recruit AR-15-certified male conservatives for a stealth operation to infiltrate the teaching profession, installing themselves as replacements for the liberal female gun-haters currently corrupting schoolchildren. Upon successful completion of the operation, children will henceforth be taught "wholesome family values," like firearms training, creationism, and homophobia, to name a few.
To be successful in this recruitment effort, you need leadership, and all good leaders are confident in their abilities. Mr. Adams has lots of that:
Some might say I'm dead wrong about this one. Actually, I am alive and I am right. And you know it. That's why I'm going to be your next president.
Whatever.
He's found a pulse on himself, so he's well on his way to the Oval Office, I suppose. What else can we expect from him once he gets there?
Speaking of the presidency, I will be tasked with choosing judges when I become president. When I do, there will be a Roe v. Wade litmus test. [...]
The Roe litmus test immediately filters out anti second amendment judges. [...] Similarly, judges who believe the word "abortion" is written in the constitution are the same ones who cannot see the word "arms" written in the constitution. By filtering out pro abortion judges, we will also filter out pro gun control judges.
All condemnation of judicial activism gets thrown out the window the instant Mr. Adams's apointees take their seats on the bench, as they themselves cast votes against abortion and gun control with the same supposed ideological conformity as the "liberal" judges they would replace.
Do people actually take this guy seriously? At the time of this screen capture:
Though I have to give credit to those thirteen "liberal infiltrators" who see this garbage for what it is.
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(My emphasis in quotes)
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