MITT ROMNEY (5/17/2012): There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what ... who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, ... who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it.
Entitled to food! Medicine! Roofs! That's the Republican candidate for the presidency seemingly characterizing a broad swath of Americans, which would include veterans, the elderly, the working poor, and much of the middle class, as a bunch of lazy freeloaders. It touched off a firestorm everywhere. But nowhere more acutely than at Romney campaign headquarters...
where it triggered something I like to call (reverb) CHAOS ON BULLSHIT MOUNTAIN!!
....
WOMAN ON FOX NEWS (9/18/2012): He wasn't criticizing them, he was saying that the American dream should be open to everybody.
"You're looking and hearing the cynical and condescending plutocratic words he was saying, not the aspirational optimistic message he, in retrospect, should have been meaning." It's like Romney Jazz, it's the words you don't hear! (wild audience applause)
That's the... so, this is really just inartful words from a dubious source. Oh, and one other thing.
SEAN HANNITY: This is factually accurate, what Romney is saying.
BILL O'REILLY: If I'm Governor Romney, I run with this all day long.
WOMAN ON FOX NEWS: It was the truth.
GREG GUTFELD: He's a boss who says the truth, but the truth often hurts.
STUART VARNEY: I think this will be seen as a win for Romney.
(shocked audience reaction)
Let me sum up the message from Bullshit Mountain if I may. "This inartfully stated dirty liberal smear is a truthful expression of Mitt Romney's political philosophy, and it is a winner."
Let me tell you something, you don't summit Bullshit Mountain unless you know your way around a turd or two.
....
So, recorded videos are a distraction. Here's one from Obama! The Obama video is pertinent, but the Romney video is a distraction. Why?
SEAN HANNITY (9/18/2012): It features Governor Romney speaking to supporters at a fundraiser waaaaaaay back in May.
Ohhh. This video is from "waaaaaaay" back in May. May! Oh my God, that was like before June! Who even remembers May? "Grandfather, may I sit on your knee and hear you tell a tale of what life was like waaaaaaay back in May?"
"Well, I, Timmy, hold on now, Timmy, I remember like it was yesterday. The iPhone 5 was but a glimmer in the iPhone 4S's eyes. It was an incredible time."
Now in Hannity's defense, four months is typically enough time for Romney to radically change his positions. By the way, what about this new, very pertinent video of Obama that Fox has made hay of all day? When was that video recorded?
MEGYN KELLY (9/19/2012): That was recorded in 1998.
My God!! That's more than 14 May's ago! (audience laughter)
....
Let's drill down to the core of this thing.
SEAN HANNITY (9/18/2012): And tonight, it is Romney unplugged as the GOP presidential nominee delivers one of his sharpest critiques yet of President Obama and the entitlement society that he enables. ... According to the Census Bureau, in 2011, 49% of Americans lived in a household where at least one person received a government handout.
This is the core of Bullshit Mountain. The 49% entitlement society Obama enables. That is the core of the Bullshit Nation fiction. That somehow, only since Obama, the half of Americans who love this country and work hard and are good, have had the fruits of their labor seized and handed over to the half of this nation that is lazy and dependent and the opposite of good. I'm sure there's a better term for that.
Now in that 49%, Hannity's including those on Social Security and Medicare. Or as I like to call them, his audience. Demographic TV audience slam!
But perhaps Mr. Hannity's understating the problem, for there are many more of those on the government dole than even his 49% accounts for. Like those welfare queens at ExxonMobil, AT&T, GE, et al. 250 corporations that from 2008 to 2010 got nearly a quarter trillion in federal tax subsidies, although to be fair, at least ExxonMobil and AT&T give us back cheap gas and reliable cell phone service. (wild audience cheering and applause)
Or, how about this? Here's one. The Wall Street firms who were given access to the discount borrowing window at the Federal Reserve. Or the $5 billion in direct federal payments to America's moocher farmers. Or the incredible tax breaks the government gives the investor class, whose money is taxed at a capital gains rate of 15%. As opposed to ordinary having-a-job income, which can be taxed up to 35%. Boy, I wish we had a poster boy for that element of the moochocracy.
Oh right. (wild audience applause)
....
The biggest problem with the denizens of Bullshit Mountain is they act like their shit don't stink. If they have success, they built it. If they failed, the government ruined it for 'em. If they get a break, they deserve it. If you get a break, it's a handout and an entitlement. It's a baffling, willfully blind cognitive dissonance best summed up by their head coach, in what is perhaps my favorite sound bite of all time.
CRAIG T. NELSON (6/2/2009): I've been on food stamps and welfare. Anybody help me out? No!
(shocked audience laughter)
I think if there's one thing everyone can agree on in the entire country, it's that Barack Obama is....
SEAN HANNITY (1/13/2012): ... the worst President that we've had in my lifetime ...
WOMAN ON FOX NEWS (8/1/2011): ... he's the worst President ...
MAN ON FOX NEWS (1/6/2012): ... the absolute worst President ...
BEN QUAYLE (9/27/2010): ... the worst President in history ...
Exactly! Barack Obama is objectively, arithmetically, the worst President in history. And that includes our 30th President, Calvin Coolio.
You remember then, it was when America had descended into a bit of a gangsta's paradise.
Anyway, Obama's place as the worst President in history explains why he is getting so crushed.
BECKY QUICK (9/19/2012): President Obama is leading Mitt Romney nationally by 5 points among likely voters.
With support. Crushed with support.
Well, Romney's inability to trounce history's worst President was all scheduled to change this week with a very announced campaign reboot, which as you know, involves Mr. Romney taking a paper clip and putting it into a... a hole.... I don't want to talk about it. Um, brings back memories of when I used to have to reboot rough men at the genius bar.
Unfortunately, Romney's reboot was thrown off... just a tad.
MITT ROMNEY (5/17/2012): There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what ... who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, ... who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it.
Entitled to food! Medicine! Roofs! That's the Republican candidate for the presidency seemingly characterizing a broad swath of Americans, which would include veterans, the elderly, the working poor, and much of the middle class, as a bunch of lazy freeloaders. It touched off a firestorm everywhere. But nowhere more acutely than at Romney campaign headquarters...
where it triggered something I like to call (reverb) CHAOS ON BULLSHIT MOUNTAIN!!
That's an exploding bullshit dust you've all heard so much about. In the 48 hours since the Romney video first gained wide exposure, turd containment crews have been working overtime on Bullshit Mountain.
9/18/2012:
SEAN HANNITY: Keep in mind it was posted by a left-wing website.
BILL O'REILLY: Mother Jones, by the way, put this tape out.
BRIAN KILMEADE: ... Mother Jones, the magazine no one reads ...
NEIL CAVUTO: We're hearing word that Jimmy Carter's grandson might have played an instrumental role in getting this video.
Oh my God! Your campaign got blown up by Jimmy Carter's grandson?? (audience laughter and applause) Oh the Habitat for Humanity!!
So word one from Bullshit Mountain is, "Well yeah, he said it, but you only found out about it cuz people that are... we don't like." What's word two?
MAN ON FOX NEWS (9/19/2012): Well, the way he said it, it was not the best way of saying something like this.
JONAH GOLDBERG (9/19/2012): It was... he confused a lot of things, he messed up in that.
MAN ON FOX NEWS (9/18/2012): It's not the greatest... the most ideal language to be eavesdropped on.
WOMAN ON FOX NEWS (9/18/2012): He wasn't criticizing them, he was saying that the American dream should be open to everybody.
"You're looking and hearing the cynical and condescending plutocratic words he was saying, not the aspirational optimistic message he, in retrospect, should have been meaning." It's like Romney Jazz, it's the words you don't hear! (wild audience applause)
That's the... so, this is really just inartful words from a dubious source. Oh, and one other thing.
SEAN HANNITY: This is factually accurate, what Romney is saying.
BILL O'REILLY: If I'm Governor Romney, I run with this all day long.
WOMAN ON FOX NEWS: It was the truth.
GREG GUTFELD: He's a boss who says the truth, but the truth often hurts.
STUART VARNEY: I think this will be seen as a win for Romney.
(shocked audience reaction)
Let me sum up the message from Bullshit Mountain if I may. "This inartfully stated dirty liberal smear is a truthful expression of Mitt Romney's political philosophy, and it is a winner."
Let me tell you something, you don't summit Bullshit Mountain unless you know your way around a turd or two.
All right, so this very popular, definitely effective winning political argument that Romney's making?
WOMAN ON FOX NEWS (9/19/2012): It's another perfect distraction from the 14% unemployment.
ANDREA TANTAROS (9/18/2012): Instead of talking about the major issues of the day, — like $16 trillion in debt, and the Middle East is burning — instead, we're going around going, "Mm, did Romney insult the country or not?"
LAURA INGRAHAM (9/18/2012): You can't actually discuss serious issues today in the campaign. You have to move on to secretly recorded videos.
You guys just want to talk about real issues, so have at it.
GRETA VAN SUSTEREN (9/18/2012): A new recording surfaces. This time, it's President Obama who gets caught.
STEVE DOOCY (9/19/2012): It's President Obama's turn to be haunted by something he said once upon a time.
Are there no rules on Bullshit Mountain? (audience laughter) I mean, I expect this kind of behavior from people living at Asshole Cove, but not....
So, recorded videos are a distraction. Here's one from Obama! The Obama video is pertinent, but the Romney video is a distraction. Why?
SEAN HANNITY (9/18/2012): It features Governor Romney speaking to supporters at a fundraiser waaaaaaay back in May.
Ohhh. This video is from "waaaaaaay" back in May. May! Oh my God, that was like before June! Who even remembers May? "Grandfather, may I sit on your knee and hear you tell a tale of what life was like waaaaaaay back in May?"
"Well, I, Timmy, hold on now, Timmy, I remember like it was yesterday. The iPhone 5 was but a glimmer in the iPhone 4S's eyes. It was an incredible time."
Now in Hannity's defense, four months is typically enough time for Romney to radically change his positions. By the way, what about this new, very pertinent video of Obama that Fox has made hay of all day? When was that video recorded?
MEGYN KELLY (9/19/2012): That was recorded in 1998.
My God!! That's more than 14 May's ago! (audience laughter)
Look, obviously Bullshit Mountain has many... I guess you would say, peaks and valleys, nooks and crannies, really — you all know what bullshit looks like. Look, why am I telling you people?
Let's drill down to the core of this thing.
SEAN HANNITY (9/18/2012): And tonight, it is Romney unplugged as the GOP presidential nominee delivers one of his sharpest critiques yet of President Obama and the entitlement society that he enables. ... According to the Census Bureau, in 2011, 49% of Americans lived in a household where at least one person received a government handout.
This is the core of Bullshit Mountain. The 49% entitlement society Obama enables. That is the core of the Bullshit Nation fiction. That somehow, only since Obama, the half of Americans who love this country and work hard and are good, have had the fruits of their labor seized and handed over to the half of this nation that is lazy and dependent and the opposite of good. I'm sure there's a better term for that.
Now in that 49%, Hannity's including those on Social Security and Medicare. Or as I like to call them, his audience. Demographic TV audience slam!
But perhaps Mr. Hannity's understating the problem, for there are many more of those on the government dole than even his 49% accounts for. Like those welfare queens at ExxonMobil, AT&T, GE, et al. 250 corporations that from 2008 to 2010 got nearly a quarter trillion in federal tax subsidies, although to be fair, at least ExxonMobil and AT&T give us back cheap gas and reliable cell phone service. (wild audience cheering and applause)
Or, how about this? Here's one. The Wall Street firms who were given access to the discount borrowing window at the Federal Reserve. Or the $5 billion in direct federal payments to America's moocher farmers. Or the incredible tax breaks the government gives the investor class, whose money is taxed at a capital gains rate of 15%. As opposed to ordinary having-a-job income, which can be taxed up to 35%. Boy, I wish we had a poster boy for that element of the moochocracy.
Oh right. (wild audience applause)
In 2010, Governor Romney had an adjusted gross income of $21.6 million dollars, yet paid only $3 million dollars in federal income tax, or 13.9%. Without the preferential investor tax code, Romney would have paid $7.56 million dollars, a government subsidy of $4 1/2 million dollars.
Or to put that absolutely fair tax break given to a job creator in moocher class dependency terms, enough food stamps to feed Mr. Romney through the year 4870.
By the way, that's no bullshit, that's the math. (wild audience cheering and applause)
The biggest problem with the denizens of Bullshit Mountain is they act like their shit don't stink. If they have success, they built it. If they failed, the government ruined it for 'em. If they get a break, they deserve it. If you get a break, it's a handout and an entitlement. It's a baffling, willfully blind cognitive dissonance best summed up by their head coach, in what is perhaps my favorite sound bite of all time.
CRAIG T. NELSON (6/2/2009): I've been on food stamps and welfare. Anybody help me out? No!
(shocked audience laughter)
We'll be right back.
team then showed some more footage from both the DNC and the RNC of delegates playing the
