Forced birthers aren't really known for their science acumen. Just ask former Rep. Todd Akin, the deep thinker who gift-wrapped the Missouri Senate seat for Claire McCaskill by 'splaining that women have magic lady parts to detect rape sperm and prevent pregnancy.
But Alabama state Rep. Mary Sue McClurkin (R-of course), who is sponsoring a bill to impose a number of restrictions on abortion providers, has dreamed up a doozy of a scientific theory that puts even Akin to shame. The Montgomery Advertiser reports:
“When a physician removes a child from a woman, that is the largest organ in a body,” McClurkin said in an interview Thursday. “That’s a big thing. That’s a big surgery. You don’t have any other organs in your body that are bigger than that.”
Um ... uh ... WHAT?!?!? As Katie J.M. Baker at Jezebel scoffs
, "My liver, heart, and skin are all very excited that we are now giving organs personhood rights, although the latter is slightly upset about losing out on its 'largest organ in the human body.'"
Rep. McClurkin, who was obviously absent from school the year they taught science, thinks abortion is "big" organ-removing surgery and therefore, should be classified and restricted as such. (Never mind that abortion is pretty much the safest medical procedure in America.) Thus, we have HB57:
To require physician involvement in an abortion performed at an abortion or reproductive health center; to define terms and express legislative intent; to require certain standards in nursing care, post-operative and follow-up care; to require the father's name be reported to law enforcement in certain circumstances; to require the Board of Health to adopt rules and to provide criminal and civil penalties for failure to comply[.]
Now, how reporting the father's name of a baby is supposed to make a medical procedure safer for women isn't exactly clear, but then, that's never really the point of TRAP (Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) laws. The point—the only point—is to shut down women's health clinics by imposing unnecessary and burdensome restrictions. Aw, shucks, your restroom doesn't have the right light bulb wattage. Guess we'll have to shut you down. Oh no, you don't have the properly sized janitor's closet. Gotta close your doors. You know, for women's safety.