You've probably heard by now of rural Pennsylvania police chief Mark Kessler, who appears to be demonstrably batshit insane
. The most prominent visual evidence of his batshit insanity is Kessler's YouTube contributions, little clips that raise batshit insane
to a high art and which give some evidence as to the sort of people that end up in David Waldman's #GunFail
roundups. Yes, Mr. Kessler has managed to accidentally shoot himself in the past. No, none of us are particularly surprised. Yes, Mr. Kessler has formed his own militia group in the event that federal law enforcement officials may at some point try to take his guns and therefore will need to be shot—but fear not, as he is very clear that you may only
murder federal law enforcement officials with "just cause," and there is nobody better at determining when there is "just cause" to start murdering people than a group of gun-hoarding conspiracy theorists agitated about the perceived power of the United Nations. That's just common sense.
While Mr. Police Chief Kessler pretends to shoot at "libtards" in his video feed (something that the rest of the town's elected officials seem to be unconcerned with, but this is rural Pennsylvania, and I am going to be circumspect about my comments on that subject because I am nice about these things, damn it), the fact that Mr. Police Chief Kessler seems to be rather batshit insane seems to be the more pressing point. Because of the batshit insane part:
In April, he told Before It’s News, a hub of conspiracy theories and libertarian-leaning news, that he was getting death threats, which he said he believed were coming from the Schuylkill County Sheriff’s Department, which was “very agitated” with his resolution. “I believe the sheriff has something to do with it, because the Sheriff has been trying to shut me down and shut me up. He is a gun grabber, he’s not for the Constitution, he’s anti-Constitution,” Kessler said in a YouTube video. “I believe that’s where it’s coming from, I can’t prove it yet.” He’s also reported seeing suspicious helicopters flying over his house and car, and that there was a military Stryker vehicle outside his police station to intimidate him.
Ah, the black helicopters appeareth. Truly, we are in the End Times.
Now the Schuylkill County Sheriff's Department finds themselves at the center of conspiracy theories being touted by the local chief of police, someone they presumably have to work with but who (1) accuses them of being anti-Constitution and (2) not coincidentally has formed a militia-minded group vowing to shoot people who are anti-Constitution if they determine in their own minds that there is "just cause" involved. Whether or not seeing suspicious helicopters and believing the sheriff is secretly crank-calling him counts as "just cause" is unclear, but I would expect Mr. Kessler is now on more than a few government lists of the sort that he would consider tyranny. As for the town that keeps him in office, we may just want to wall the whole thing off and let them deal with it themselves.
We might want to put out an advertisement first, though. It sounds like we could do quite a bit of clean-up at the same time:
“If necessary, there will be people coming from all over America to Gilberton to back up the chief,” a masked blogger who goes by the name Arch Angel said while interviewing Kessler for Before It’s News. “So if you think you’re going to pull another Ruby Ridge, or another Wilco, or another 7/7, or another 9/11, you got another thing coming. Because there’s going to be hundreds of not thousands of us there to back up the chief.”
Now there's a damn fine Under the Dome
scenario. Plexiglass factories of the world, gear up. We're going to be needing all of you shortly.