All you have to do is imagine what Louie Gohmert would say if the embassies had not closed; it would have been the exact opposite, and no prizes for guessing how many separate investigations Louie Gohmert would personally demand in front of how many town halls if anything, anywhere had actually happened to one of them. The answer is eleventy-two, with a remainder of banana. He would have said that leaving the embassies open in the face of a "credible threat" was a sign the administration was needlessly putting lives in danger to prove their political machismo, except he would have said it far more stupidly, and he would have demanded that someone think of all the troops and diplomats that were risking their lives when thuh Administration knew they were in danger. We know this because Louie Gohmert is part of the Benghazi! rhetorical brigades, or at least he would be if he wasn't already floating face-up in a pool of what he considers wisdom:
"If you will bother to find out exactly what went wrong, why you didn't have security where you needed it, where you need security to shore up, what you can do to make sure that doesn't happen again, you don't have to close your embassies like a bunch of cowards that go running away," Gohmert said.
Well there you go—a true master of the deep thought, that one. All you have to do is provide security that Louie Gohmert and company demanded we stop paying for because Freedum, and then double and triple that security while Louie Gohmert demands we not pay for that either because Libertee, and then Louie Gohmert will be quite solidly behind the notion of people who are not him risking their lives to show that America isn't "a bunch of cowards." From the comfort of the Sean Hannity studios, of course, because everyone knows true bravery is sitting behind a microphone and explaining why other
Americans need to get shot at. It's been a staple of America's bravest voices since, hell, since the microphone was invented.
Gohmert drew parallels to the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis, characterizing then-President Jimmy Carter's negotiations and rescue attempt as inadequate. Gohmert described the failed rescue, which killed eight U.S. servicemen and one Iranian civilian, as, “Please, please, will you please give us our people back."
I would characterize it more like any one of the many, many embassy and barracks attacks which have pockmarked the last few decades, none of which Louie Gohmert gives a shit about or even remembers because the last incident of terrorism or international violence that he can recall is Benghazi, and the only one before that was at the end of the Carter administration, and absolutely no lessons from any other event or decade from 1979 until now have any role to play in what Louie Gohmert thinks about things. Nope. It goes 1979 hostage crisis, Benghazi, today. Can't think of anything else that might have happened. (Also fascinating: Jimmy Carter sending an ultimately unsuccessful team of special forces to forcibly extract American hostages over the dead bodies of their captors continues to be characterized as "please, will you please give us our people back," while Ronald Reagan and associates breaking any number of laws to and congressional edicts to give that same foreign government weapons while saying "please, will you please give us our people back" is the most butt-hurtingly awesome act of toughness and resolve that all of Republicanism has been able to muster for three-plus decades, and if there is a psychologist out there who has been able to piece together how that
little bit of schizophrenia managed to implant itself so firmly in the conservative brain, give me a call, I've got a few fine ideas on what you can name the syndrome.)
The only thing that can possibly be worse than listening to the grating sound of a stupid person trying to sound thoughtful is listening to a stupid person explain why various large sets of not-him people need to go get themselves bombed or shot at or otherwise ground into a fine paste in order to demonstrate how politically brave and manly the stupid person believes himself to be. This is a market niche that has already been filled to the point of absolute glut; we do not need yet another voice on the subject. I do not know what Louie Gohmert does well or if there is any subcategory of thought anywhere on the planet that truly needs Louie Gohmert to contribute to it—surely, there are used cars on an East Texas lot somewhere that still need selling—but on the subject of what other, far more professional people should be doing with their lives so as to not be perceived as "a bunch of cowards," good God. I'm beginning to think that the mere act of handing Louie Gohmert a microphone should be treated as something close to a war crime.
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