A South Carolina woman, Helen Ann Williams, was arrested on Christmas Day for stabbing her common-law husband with a ceramic squirrel the night before.
His crime? Heading out to buy beer, finding the store closed, and thus returning home empty-handed – it was Christmas Eve, after all.
The woman was apparently so incensed about her husband being beer-less, she picked up a ceramic squirrel (who doesn’t have a ceramic squirrel?), hit him over the head with it, then stabbed him in the shoulder and chest.