Cartoon: United States of John Roberts

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Friday April 11, 2014 · 6:50 AM PDT

2014/04/11 · 06:50

First, there was Citizens United. Now, with the Supreme Court's recent ruling on the McCutcheon case, our nation's campaign finance laws have been "eviscerated," in the words of the dissenting justices. Cashocracy, here we come!

Our democracy is going to get another infusion of billionaire cash, just like we got after Citizens United opened up the floodgates to massive (and shady) campaign contributions. It seems that John Roberts thinks cash corrupts only when it is slipped inside a legislator's vest pocket on the floor of the Senate. See, the Supreme Court's McCutcheon ruling merely frees those poor, oppressed billionaires from the shackles that have prevented them from speaking out, right?

Ugh. The worst part is, this will foster more apathy and "they're all a buncha' bums" mentality. If it looks like you need a billion dollars to have an impact, more people will check out of the political process. Enjoy the cartoon, like, share and be sure to pass it along to your favorite politically-inclined billionaire!

[narration voice, epic nature documentary]

The United States of John Roberts. A land where billionaires roam, free as the wind.

Like the great bison herds of the former United States of America, today, vast herds of cash migrate in search of candidates.

In the Land of John Roberts, it's now rutting season and there are no more limits, save some weak ones that will soon, surely be culled.

With the Great Campaign Finance Law die-off of twenty-ten and the more recent massacre of contribution limits, the Alpha Justice remakes the landscape as he sees fit.

Money is speech, and billionaires the ascendant speakers.

For in this land, the billionaire minority are oppressed no more, they are at last a proud, strong species.

The weak non-billionaire species . . . retreat, scared and cynical, relegated to the caves, warrens and deserts of political obscurity.

So, the cycle of life and the rise of the billionaire continues in the United States of John Roberts, a land ruled by . . . survival of the richest.

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Cartoon: United States of John Roberts

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