Cheers and Jeers for Friday, October 10, 2014
Note: There will be no C&J on Monday, the second consecutive Monday this has happened and all the reason the lamestream media needs to accuse me of "blogging from behind." Back Tuesday with an official statement of regret.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of the '15 Obamacare enrollment period: 36
Days 'til the Keene Pumpkin Festival
in New Hampshire: 8
Percent chance Keene's police chief believes the town needs a $250,000 BearCat military assault vehicle to guard the festival: 100%
(Source: Dave Weigel
U.S. life expectancy for a 'Murican born in 2012, up 6 weeks from 2011: 79yrs 9mos 15days
Number of polls out of the last 8 in which Greg Orman (I) is leading Pat Roberts (R) in the Kansas Senate race: 7
Percent of Americans who can correctly identify which parties currently
control the Senate and House: 36%
(Source: The Washington Post
Number of presidents who never had kids: 4
(Madison, Polk, Buchanan, Lindsay Graham)
NEW! Michele Bachmann Departure Countdown
Michele Bachmann and her googly eyes leave Congress in 85 days, after which she says she plans to become one of the world's most accomplished foreign policy experts. So, I'm guessing that's code for "joining the stand-up circuit."
Puppy Pic of the Day: Eight is enough…times two
CHEERS to getting two peacemakers for the price of one. The grand finale of this week's Nobel Prize action happened this morning, and the Peace Prize winners are quite deserving, including the youngest recipient ever:
The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded Friday to India's Kailash Satyarthi and Pakistan's Malala Yousafzai [age 17] for their struggles against the suppression of children and for young people's rights, including the right to education. …
Yousafzai came to global attention after she was shot in the head by the Taliban---two years ago Thursday---for her efforts to promote education for girls in Pakistan. Since then, after recovering from surgery, she has taken her campaign to the world stage, notably with a speech last year at the United Nations. … Satyarthi told reporters that the award was about many more people than him -- and that credit should go to all those "sacrificing their time and their lives for the cause of child rights" and fighting child slavery.
Said the chairman of the Nobel Committee upon announcing the winners: "Children must go to school, not be financially exploited." Responded America's for-profit education system vultures: "Blasphemy."
CHEERS to influential endorsements. Author Stephen King is a living legend up in Maine, and he's a big fan of Senator Susan Collins' Democratic challenger, Shenna Bellows. In what I believe is a first, King did a TV ad for Bellows. Pretty compelling:
Not to be outdone, Susan Collins will air a TV ad by a revered conservative Maine author. If she could only find one.
JEERS to the gullible gaggle. On today's date in 2002, Congress said "Okely Dokely!" by a 297-133 margin to let President Bush go to war with Iraq without actually, y'know, "declaring" war. (The resolution is being exploited by President Obama as authorization to go to "war" with ISIS, and Congress appears to have no stomach to weigh in on the matter, despite wanting to crawl over broken glass to investigate every other damn thing he does.) The Senate would follow suit 9 days later. But there were a few notable dissenters as the stupid unfolded:
Rep. Dennis Kucinich: "It is fear which leads us to war. It is fear which leads us to believe that we must kill or be killed. Fear which leads us to attack those who have not attacked us."
Senator Robert Byrd: "This is the Tonkin Gulf resolution all over again. Let us stop, look and listen. Let us not give this president or any president unchecked power. Remember the Constitution."
Yeah! Remember the...whatzytution, again?
CHEERS to Palin family values. Just to wrap up the big drunken brawl that the 2008 vice-presidential candidate had last month: the official police report is out and here's the money quote: "A fight broke out and the Palins ended up losing." Disappointing, considering the motto on the Palin family coat-of-arms reads: "Don't Retreat, Reload!" Why, I just don't believe I can trust her anymore.
JEERS to the original nattering nabob of negativism. On October 10, 1973, Vice President Spiro Agnew resigned in disgrace. His exit was in stark contrast to the first veep to leave while in office:
Actual size of
John C. Calhoun, the Seventh Vice President of the United States, did so toward the end of his second term, after the election of 1832, when his successor -- Martin Van Buren -- had already been selected. Calhoun was one of the great statesmen of his day, and quit the vice presidency after the South Carolina legislature voted to send him to the US Senate.
Agnew, by contrast, quit the vice presidency after pleading no contest to a tax evasion charge. It turned out he'd been taking bribes since the early days of his career in Maryland, and continued to do so after becoming vice president.
Poor guy was ahead of his time. Forty-one years later tax evasion is the biggest plank in the Republican party platform.
Go, [Insert team
name here], Go!!!
to home vegetation. An idle TV screen is such a lonely-lookin' thing, so here are a few things to fill it with. Tonight: Chris and Rachel, but not Bill Maher (he's taking the week off). New DVD releases
include Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West
and Tom Cruise in Edge of Tomorrow
, but the title that's really must-see is the doc To Be Takei
. Saturday Night Live took a hit yesterday when the great Jan Hooks died at 57, so expect a tribute tomorrow night (alum Bill Hader is the host). Your Orioles vs. Royals and Giants vs. Cardinals start times are here
. On Bill Moyers & Company
, the most excellent Bob Herbert. And John Oliver wraps things up with Last Week Tonight
. As for your Sunday morning
lineup, well, it is what it is:
This Week: CDC Director Dr. Tom Frieden dispenses chill pills, but their active ingredients are no match for the pundits' freakout cells; Roundtable with Bill Kristol, Donna Brazile and Matt Dowd.
Meet the Press: Senior White House Adviser Dan Pfeiffer; RNC Chairman Reince Priebus unveils his next three GOP re-branding themes, which will be introduced next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and forgotten by Thursday; Former Senator and current eyer-of-the-presidency Jim Webb; Dr. Nancy Snyderman.
Priebus slaps a new
sticker on the GOP
Sunday on Meet the Bleh.
Face the Nation: Former SecDef and CIA director Leon Panetta is hawking his new book, but he knows he won’t get bookings unless he does something provocative like slime his former boss, President Obama. Naturally Bob Schieffer takes the bait.
CNN's State of the Union: CDC Director Dr. Tom Frieden says everything is going to be okay, but Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) insists while fanning himself under an elm tree that that's just the kind of thing someone who knows things aren't going to be okay would say. Senator Jack Reed (D-RI) just rolls his eyes. Roundtable with former White House Chiefs of Staff Bill Daley, Andrew Card, Mack McLarty and Ken Duberstein, all of whom twitch uncontrollably.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: A gay marriage debate between Tony Perkins of the hate group Family Research Council and Ted Olson, who will have one brain lobe tied behind his back to keep it a fair fight; election jabbering with Joe Trippi and disgraced GOP operative Karl Rove; roundtable with Brit Hume, Carly Fiorina, Amy Walter and Bob Woodward.
Five years ago in C&J: October 10, 2009
JEERS to another round of snoop-a-doopery. The Senate Judiciary Committee voted to renew parts of the Patriot Act. It's kinda confusing, so if you need it explained to you, just pick up your phone and ask the NSA guy breathing heavy on the other end to walk you through it.
And just one more…
1975: The Clintons on
to the sanctity of marriage. Happy 39th Anniversary tomorrow to former President and future First Husband Bill and future President and former First Lady Hillary Clinton! According to the Texas School Board-approved Big Pop-up Book of American History
, they got hitched on October 11, 1975 while running from the Feds during a string of bank robberies, after which they bribed and murdered their way to the Arkansas governor's mansion, where they participated in masked spouse-swapping parties while dipping their enemies in slopgrease and feeding them to the hogs out in the back yard next to their bribe cash vault. What can we say? That's amore.
Have a great weekend. Buy pumpkins. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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