'I don't have to follow Senate rules if God doesn't want me to' is not generally what the Founding Fathers had in mind.
'I don't have to follow Senate rules if God doesn't want me to' is not generally what the Founding Fathers had in mind.
Texas Republicans putting up State Sen. Dan Patrick as their nominee for lieutenant governor goes a fair way towards proof that yes, every sodding last Republican in Texas is insane. He was a conservative radio host. He's into all the right conspiracy theories. He thinks he's the official Texas incarnation of Jesus, and he's the nominee for lieutenant governor of the entire state because, and take your pick, (1) America's Dumbest Congressman Louie Gohmert didn't want to relocate or (2) because all of Texas Republican politics
is based on an elaborate dare.
"While ISIS terrorists threaten to cross our border and kill Americans, my opponent falsely attacks me to hide her failed record on illegal immigration," he says in his first general-election campaign.
Please stop.
On his first book, actually titled The Second Most Important Book You Will Ever Read: "As the author, I am obviously biased," Patrick wrote in an Amazon review of his own book. But "since God inspired me to write this book," he added, "He automatically gets 5 stars and the CREDIT!'"
If you give my book less than five stars you hate God. Countless men have made similar claims of divine inspiration over the centuries, but I'm not sure I've ever seen the assertion used towards such a petty end as to goose Amazon ratings.
On squashing Wendy Davis' filibuster: Patrick told Mike Huckabee he had a Christian obligation to ignore Senate rules if the lives of fetuses were at risk.
The American Taliban often cites the requirement to ignore rules and laws and constitutional rights because their religion trumps those laws. That is why we call them the American Taliban.
Patrick tried to raise money off of Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson's comments about homosexuality in GQ, boasting that the bearded reality star was channeling another bearded visionary. "This is an exciting time for Christians," he wrote on Facebook. "God is speaking to us from the most unlikely voice, Phil Robertson, about God's Word. God is using pop culture and a highly successful cable TV show to remind us about His teaching."
If an omnipotent God is choosing to address his people primarily through the unscripted ramblings of an American faux-yokel mouthing off between bird hunts, I for one will be very surprised. Not as surprised as hearing that he's now writing books under the byline of a mean-spirited conservative Texas radio shock-jock, but pretty surprised.
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Again, is this a dare? Are we determined to seek out all the little nuts and tinfoil hat-wearers and people who say they speak with God regularly through the fillings in their teeth—are we determined to seek them out, pluck them off their sidewalk apple crates and install every last one of them as the people who should decide how to write our laws and which ones we should enforce, or ignore? A post-apocalyptic dystopia is not the American end goal, Texas Republicans. If it's not someone you'd trust with your wallet or your car keys, maybe don't trust them with governing us all.
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