I should have known the moment Sarah Palin turned her "attention," generously speaking, to the swelling ranks of refugees at the border that America's Dumbest Congressman would outdo whatever half-formed conspiracy theory she
brought to the party. According to actual congressperson Louie Gohmert, who is a Texas Republican because that goes without saying at this point, immigrant children are flooding across the border to secretly vote for Demmycrats.
“In the end, they have said that they want to turn Texas blue, they want to turn America blue,” he said. “And if you bring in hundreds of thousands or millions of people and give them the ability to vote and tell them — as Quico Canseco said, he had illegals in his district that were told, ‘If you want to keep getting the benefits, you have to vote, and President Obama’s lawyers are not going to allow them to ask for an ID, so go vote or you’re going to lose the benefits you’re getting now.’ That drives people to vote and it will ensure that Republicans don’t ever get elected again.”
It's all a plot, you see. It's all connected. Central American violence, chemtrails, the Hindenburg, the Builderbergs, the Builderbearberkshops. First you convince little orphan children to get themselves smuggled into Texas, then you give them "benefits," things like, I don't know, not being fired out of a cannon, and then they all grow up to vote for Democrats. Key to this plan, mind you, the key
for all of this to work and for the Democratic Caliphate of Texas 'n Related Environs to rise, is the reliance on Republicans to continue to be horrible, horrible assholes
toward all brown people everywhere. Luckily—and this is where the chemtrials come in—Obama seems to have that part well in hand.
This is what really caps it off, though. The ability of America's Dumbest Congressman to draw in different threads from different things he's heard over the years and cough them up as one big hairball:
Gohmert also told Malzberg that the Central American refugees, combined with the end of the gold standard during the Nixon administration, will bankrupt the country.
Griping about the gold standard
has long been one of the hallmarks of righty fringe culture. It's nice to see Gohmert bend a knee towards one of the classics, though I don't see him devoting nearly as much attention to it as, say, Ron Paul, or as some of the legislatures of a few of the redder states. He also approvingly cited Ed Klein as a source of deep Obama thoughts, which is much, much worse than whining about our dimes not being made of silver nowadays. And then he went on to suggest to another radio host that Obama should send U.S. troops into Mexico like Woodrow Wilson did
. Sure, why not?
Again: America's Dumbest Congressman. But he gets to be a hero to the base too, because you don't have to make any sense at all so long as you can manage to shove the right phrases out of your word-hole. The leadership bar is so very, very low these days.