Paragraph of melodramatic personal narrative attempting to pull heartstrings and establish my credibility as an undecided or only just now decided voter.
Further paragraphs of personal narrative mixing in attributes of both candidates with claims to weigh each equally and objectively.
Gradual sly insertion of obvious talking points from my candidate’s campaign.
Abrupt crescendo into outright caricatures of opposing candidate and their supporters.
Thunderous declarations of the obvious superiority of my candidate.
Thinly veiled taunts of my candidate’s opponent and their supporters that make it quite clear I’ve been on the side of the other candidate all along.
Tearful return of personal narrative and emotional appeals based on spouses, children, grandparents, pets, favorite colors, potted plants, household appliances, and shoe size.
Closing statement averring that opposing candidate “lost” me along the way for not representing the beautiful self I have here outlined despite the many indications, including comment and diary/story history, that I have been an advocate of my chosen candidate since the campaign began.
Implied invitation along with explicit emailed invitation from the blog for others to use this template to post their own version of the exact same story.
Exponential multiplication of similar diaries from both sides, peppering each other back and forth with stirring “Road to Damascus” conversion sagas.
Snark diary appears skewering the entire series of events.
Readers refuse to recommend it, but instead post outraged comments denouncing it below.
UPDATE: Cloying update in affected language purporting to express gratitude and reaction to reader response but in actuality a transparent gambit for a few clicks to avoid diary falling off the rec list.
