The first sign will be that when he’s another five points down in the polls Kellyanne Conway will throw a life preserver and leap overboard where the Florida billionaire Mike Fernandez, who supported Jeb Bush but just announced he’s going to vote for Hillary, will pick her up in his yacht.
Without her guiding hand, his campaign will begin to list like the Lusitania.
As the campaign begins to take on water he’ll desperately try to appeal to disparate sections of the electorate that he has no chance of winning. He will come across as so disingenuous that he’ll look like Al Jolson at the Apollo trying to convince Harlem that he’s really black.
Flailing about as the polls inch towards the big two-oh he’ll try the ultimate Hail Mary and find a psychic to channel Mary Tudor as a replacement for Kellyanne Conway.
Mary will convince him to do what he does best which is incite fear, trepidation, and loathing among members of his base.
As hate crimes increase Trump, with his hair taking on a darker hue and flop sweat slicked down over his forehand, will have a brilliant idea (all his own) that the problem is that the hats aren’t enough, and he will order tens of thousands of armbands to be given out at his fewer and further between rallies, and little American flags which his supporters, now sensing defeat, will trust upwards in the air while shouting “make America great” and “USA, USA.”
Unfortunately for Trump this will look more and more like a Reichstag rally.
By now the RNC will have cut off funds to him desperately sending them down ballot. All of his large dollar donors will have cut their losses. His own coffers will have been depleted. He just has no money left to put on rallies.
And then the day will come when Trump, mentally and physically exhausted, refusing to admit defeat and wanting to hang on to the bitter end has only his telephone to rely on to get his message out.
So get ready Jimmy Fallon (right), Dana Carvey, and Darrell Hammond.
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