It's quite simply depressing to watch Donald Trump deliver a speech of complete garbage to supposed "values voters" who then eat it up as if the p#ssy-grabber in chief is the second coming. But that's exactly what we were subjected to Friday when Trump addressed the Values Voters Summit from his parallel universe of successes and they, in turn, plied him with applause like know-nothing lemmings.
That was no less true of Trump's assertion that following the devastating hurricanes, "I met with the president of the Virgin Islands." Technically, Trump may have had this "meeting" since he IS the pr*sident of the Virgin Islands, but we don't think that's what he meant.
Anyway, Trump assured the valueless voters that the survivors of these recent natural disasters are "all healing. Their states and territories are healing, and they're healing rapidly." Of course, some of the hardest hit areas are not healing. In Puerto Rico, in particular, people are still scrambling for food and water as the death toll continues to rise.
But on Puerto Rico, specifically, Trump promised, "We'll be there, we're gonna be there. It's not even a question of a choice and we don't want a choice." That's super reassuring since on Thursday he reminded people that sending federal aid was a choice—one that he might back off because federal relief workers can't stay "forever!"
In other good news from planet Trump, we learned that his record of lagging accomplishments is proceeding apace.
"In the last 10 months we have followed through on one promise after another," Trump said. "I didn't have a schedule, [but] if I did have a schedule, I would say we are substantially ahead of schedule."