When GOP apologists argue that pervert Roy Moore did not act abnormally and despicably in pursuing sexual relationships with teenaged girls half his age, they are turning Moore’s victims into Moore’s sin eaters. The girls were an understandable enticement — not innocent — and Moore acted within the range of acceptable behavior. The sin was not his, but theirs.
In her story of her interaction with Moore, Leslie Corfman tells us that her young self agreed with the assessment that she was not innocent. She testifies to a common phenomenon that rape activists will recognize: the self-blame and harmful change in self-respect that sexual assault often causes. The Washington Post reports:
After talking to her friends, Corfman says, she began to feel that she had done something wrong and kept it a secret for years.
“I felt responsible,” she says. “I felt like I had done something bad. And it kind of set the course for me doing other things that were bad.”
She says that her teenage life became increasingly reckless with drinking, drugs, boyfriends, and a suicide attempt when she was 16.
Many rape victims turn to promiscuous sexuality (as well as drugs or drinking) after being assaulted. There are a number of contributing causes for that. Among others, the feeling that one’s sexuality has been taken over by a predator and the corresponding need to take back control. The belief that one has been unalterably “soiled.” The self-blame that convinces the victim that there is something wrong with her or him that provoked the assault. The needy quest to be given emotional validation and connection.
This is not to condemn sexual choices freely and responsibly made, but rather to observe that victims often move from total abstinence to a kind of self-destructive sexual profligacy because they have blindly, sadly, eaten the sin of the sex that was forced upon them.
Society and its rape myths are the force feeders in this pattern. When we victim-blame, when we don’t give the sexual assault victim unconditional support (which does not mean unconditional condemnation of the accused), we are closing the victim off from hearing the messages that will allow her or him to refuse this “sin”, to leave it where it belongs — on the soul of the perpetrator.
Women are often forced to become sin eaters. For example, physical and psychological abusers typically tell their victims that it is the victims’ fault that they are being abused. The abuse victims often report the same to police or other rescuers: “It was my fault.” I didn’t keep the house clean enough. I burned the chicken. I spent too much money. I deserved the abuse.
Women are also frequently blamed for the gender disparity in wages or representation or even the failure to have made greater historical contributions. They didn’t “lean in.”
Minorities get the same treatment. Police shoot PoC because PoC are more frightening than whites. Muslims call prejudice upon themselves by wearing antiquated clothing. Third world countries suffer in economic cellars because their populations weren’t as smart or hard working or right-believing as ours has been.
Some part of all of us smugly believes that victims are victims because they didn’t “do it right,” like we, the non-victimized, did. Psychologists call this the “just world” fallacy, which allows us to insulate ourselves from the fear of similar harm, separate ourselves from the victimized, and shed responsibility for the victim’s suffering.
The GOP is now newly and fatuously engaged in the perpetual game of serving up blame for the victims to consume. But this isn’t just a conservative game. All of us need to stop doing this. Victims are twice victimized when they are made to eat the sin.