Frank Wuco used to work under Gen. Michael Flynn, back before Flynn had landed the job of being a short-lived Trump national security adviser. He has hosted his own far-right radio show, because every last goddamn far-right Republican in the nation has or once had their own right-wing radio show; he used it to host hate group leader Robert Spencer, among other guests. He is an anti-Muslim conspiracy theorist who declared that Barack Obama was a “soulless, satanically susceptible shell of a human being” controlled by “globalists and Marxists” like “George Soros.”
He is one of those sorts of halfwit pudding-brained far righters, of the sort that swarm around Trump like summer flies. And he will now be the head enforcer for the Department of Homeland Security. His job is to be Trump’s appointed "minder"—the man who watches the department staff and ensures the edicts of Dear Leader are being efficiently carried out.
Tyler Houlton, a DHS spokesman, confirmed Wuco’s role and called him a “valuable member of the DHS team.” Houlton said the task force was set up to ensure that the “myriad specified and implied tasks derived from the President’s 14 Executive Orders” issued so far are implemented quickly.
But Wuco has, shall we say, a side gig. The pasty-white racist conspiracy peddler Wuco likes to dress up as "Wasul," an invented terrorist who goes around the country scaring the children and making xenophobic cretins feel smug about their own conspiracy theories. Meet the man who will be "implementing" Donald Trump's new racist and xenophobic orders:
While advising the military, Wuco created Wasul, the fictional terrorist whose “model behavior” led him to be released from US custody so that he could tour the United States to talk about jihad. Wuco has role-played Wasul for thousands of military officials and concerned citizens. One video shows Wuco wearing both an orange jumpsuit and mujahedeen regalia, while others show him dressed as a civilian.
Wuco, speaking as Wasul, also hosted a radio segment called “Ask the Jihadist.” Before each episode, listeners were advised not to call the authorities on Wasul. Nevertheless, the first caller on one episode, identified as Ms. Anna, had to be cut off after she threatened to buy a gun, presumably to shoot Wasul. On another episode, Wasul berated a Muslim caller for not adhering to his extreme views. After Wasul stopped talking, Wuco would often pretend he had been in another studio listening to Wasul’s remarks, which made him want to land a bullet “right between” Wasul’s eyes.
This is deeply weird behavior for someone who wants to hold down a day job as an actual homeland security enforcer. It is also a bit akin to hiring a Lex Luthor cosplayer to preside over the Treasury department and keep the minions in line, which we will not suggest too loudly because you know damn well Donald Trump would do it if he heard it was an option.
Wuco is far from the first far-right White Racist Conspiracy Theory Dude to dress himself up as a supposed Muslim "terrorist" and whitesplain supposed Muslim beliefs to actual Muslims. He may be the only person to do it and still be tapped for an actual damn government job, though. We will take this as evidence that only the lowest stains on humanity want anything to do with the Trump administration, at this point, and are therefore the only ones who can be hired on.
There is no word on whether Wuco will perform his Department of Homeland Security duties while “in character.”
EDIT: Ugh. I had repeatedly switched the names ‘Wuco’ and ‘Houlton’ throughout the first revision of this story—my apologies. Corrected now.