Have you heard the news? The person who sits in the Oval Office wants the world to know, sixteen times over he did not collude with Russia to get there and that even if he did "collusion is not a crime." That's just a scratching the surface of his bizarre interview with The New York Times, which they tell us has been "lightly edited for content and clarity." As if.
The thing reads like the Festivus airing of grievances, with Trump continuing to be totally obsessed by the election, Hillary Clinton, her emails, how he lost the popular vote and how brilliant of a campaigner he was. See, it all comes down to the Electoral College. Which is totally rigged for the Democrats, by the way, but which he won through his brilliance.
You know the Electoral College, it’s like a track star. If you’re going to run the 100-yard dash, you work out differently than if you’re going to run the 1,000 meters or the mile.
And it’s different. It’s in golf. If you have a tournament and you have match play or stroke play, you prepare differently, believe it or not. It’s different. Match play is very different than stroke play. And you prepare. So I went to Maine five times, I went to [inaudible], the genius of the Electoral College is that you go to places you might not go to.
By the way, all the Democrats say there was no collusion. And he still can't believe the "terrible thing" Jeff Sessions did to him by recusing himself from the Russia investigation. That gives him the opportunity to obsess over his other enemy, President Barack Obama who was "totally protected" by his Attorney General, Eric Holder. And by the way, if he wants to exercise it, he insists "I have absolute right to do what I want to do with the Justice Department," which is probably the single-most chilling moment of the discussion. Except for the part where you realize the leader of the free world seems to be kind of unhinged.
That gets him back on track with the "phony Russia deal" and how the Democrats blew the Electoral College and are doing this because they lost and how that was supposed to be "a one-day story, an excuse, and it just kept going and going and going," and Democrats don't even believe it and "It’s too bad Jeff recused himself. I like Jeff, but it’s too bad he recused himself."
Speaking of Democrats, "You know West Virginia is doing fantastically now." That's not because of Sen. Joe Manchin, the Democrat, it's because Trump. "I'm the one that saved coal. I’m the one that created jobs." Which then somehow morphs into how he "won that state by 43 points against crooked Hillary Clinton" and then somehow turns into Alabama. "I was for Strange, and I brought Strange up 20 points. Just so you understand. When I endorsed him, he was in fifth place. He went way up. Almost 20 points. But he fell a little short. But I knew what I was doing." He totally knew what he was doing, totally knew Roy Moore could never win. He's the only one who called it, who knew what would happen and he only endorsed Moore because "I feel that I have to endorse Republicans as the head of the party." Oh, and by the way, the only reason it was close was "because of my endorsement. People don’t say that. They say, Oh, Donald Trump lost. I didn't lose, I brought him up a lot."
Then we get to the tax bill, where we learn that Trump truly is the greatest Republican president, ever: "But, just so you understand, Ronald Reagan wanted to take deductibility away and he was unable to do it. Ronald Reagan wanted to have ANWR approved 40 years ago and he was unable to do it. Think of that." That just primes the pump (did you know Trump invented that phrase?) for Trump's next rant on his greatness.
Two things: No. 1, I have unbelievably great relationships with 97 percent of the Republican congressmen and senators. I love them and they love me. That’s No. 1. And No. 2, I know more about the big bills. … [Inaudible.] … Than any president that’s ever been in office. […]
I’ll tell you something [inaudible]. … Put me on the defense, I was a great student and all this stuff. Oh, he doesn’t know the details, these are sick people. […]
But Michael, I know the details of taxes better than anybody. Better than the greatest C.P.A. I know the details of health care better than most, better than most. And if I didn’t, I couldn’t have talked all these people into doing ultimately only to be rejected.
Greatest ever. And China, believe me, know one understands China better. Which then leads to this rant: "And, by the way, it’s not a tweet. It's social media, and it gets out in the world, and the reason I do well is that I can be treated unfairly and very dishonestly by CNN, and, you know, I have—what do I have now, John, 158 million, including Facebook, including Twitter, including Instagram, including every form, I have a 158 million people."
You probably don't want to have what's left of your holiday break in a sweat of terror brought on by his thoughts on China and North Korea, so we'll leave it there. Incidentally, Trump is going to have his annual physical in a few weeks. With the doctor who takes care of all the presidents this time. Kind of makes you wonder, what is the real doctor going to do about him.