(ThePierreReport) After witnesses caught Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, and other Republican lawmakers throwing bricks through the windows of the Headquarters of the Health and Human Services Department, and then running off with as much taxpayer money as they could fit into their golf bags, and pretty much anything that wasn’t bolted to the ground, they defended their actions by saying that it is now OK to profit from the wrongdoing of others.
In the wake of the turmoil caused by revelations that members of the Trump Administration and family were allegedly working with Russia to undermine America’s democratic institutions, instead of participating in pursuing and prosecuting the guilty parties, many Republicans on Capitol Hill chose to take advantage of the turmoil to seize as much loot as possible for themselves.
These Republican politicians, most of whom ran on platforms of Law and Order, recognized that it was perhaps quite unethical of them to use this opportunity to get away with stealing as much as they could while the attention of most observers was focused on the Executive Branch. Regardless, they defended their actions, saying that what they did is not criminal, because they were just taking advantage of what opportunity was presented to them.
“Look, we are not doing anything wrong here,” noted Republican Senator John McCain. “We are just a group of well-meaning decent folk, of limited means, trying to make do in this harsh and uninviting climate-controlled Chamber. And presented with an opportunity, we chose to take it. What’s so wrong about that?”
In this case, they argued that, since the opportunity they took advantage of, was wanton and unscrupulous conspiring within the Trump administration, whatever wrongdoings that Republicans in Congress were attempting, are OK because what was happening in the Executive Branch is so much more severely criminal and noteworthy. So noteworthy and exceptional, in fact, that it could not possibly extend to anything Republicans in Congress were possibly doing. Even if their gains were predicated on allowing the wrongdoers in the White House to go unpunished.
Almost equally confounding, when pressed on what it was in the actions of the White House that they found most objectionable, most Republicans went on record saying that they didn’t even think the White House was guilty of any wrongdoing to begin with.
“It seems pretty simple to me, but I’ll spell it out for you simple-minded journalists,” said Steve King, or maybe it was Louie Gohmert, or Ted Cruz, or does it even really matter anymore. “Whatever twisted, craven, immoral and depraved actions we in Congress choose to take, they are totally OK, because they pale in comparison to all the awful twisted things that have been perpetrated by the Trump Administration. Which we are pretty sure is absolutely nothing, anyways.”
“Because if we are doing zero to investigate and prosecute criminal activity by the Executive Branch, it is NOT because there is nobody left in our ranks with any sort of convictions or integrity, thanks to decades of cultivating a system of gerrymandering and wealthy campaign donor parasitism designed to completely suffocate any qualities other than subservience and venality. It is because there is simply nothing there to investigate.”
The choice of so many Congressional Republicans to defend their activities of looting the American public in spite of the controversial actions of the Trump Administration comes in stark contrast of Congressional Democrats, who have wholly demanded a stop to Republicans enacting their agenda until the matters of Russian interference were fully investigated. Their argument is that not doing so will only further put America’s national interests in jeopardy, make it easier for any guilty parties to avoid being caught or convicted, and make it harder to prevent future attempts by Russia to interfere in America’s governance.
Most Congressional Republicans were quick to dismiss such allegations. They argued that it is not their responsibility to prioritize the country and its safety over their own self-interests.
“I’m not some sort of Constitutional expert,” said one GOP Senator, “but I am pretty sure that nowhere in the Constitution does it say it is my job to provide any sort of check on the Executive Branch, or anything.”
One reporter commented on the apparent hypocrisy of the Republican rhetoric, considering how they have often demonized and castigated people of lower class when they resorted to looting, such as in the wake of events such as Hurricane Katrina, and the L.A. riots.
“Listen, you need to understand that these situations are completely different,” said McConnell, who was clearly exasperated that he was being forced to defend actions he chose to take that affected others.
“In their case, they are wrong for looting, because it is not like they were ever promised any sort of equality, freedoms, civil liberties, or basic opportunities to thrive or anything. Tell me where it says any of that.”
“In our case, it’s OK, because we made it all the way to the vast upper echelons of American politics, precisely because we are so good at looting everything in sight.”
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