Barack Obama’s presidency was supposed to represent a post-racial America. Words like “hope” and “change” were bandied about frequently—not just referring to a departure from the Bush administration and the Republican politics of the years prior to his candidacy, but also signifying a path toward a more racially just country. Sadly, many of us were unprepared for the hideous whitelash that would come after electing the first black president.
And in our collective euphoria about the so-called racial and social progress we were making, we ignored the fact that Michelle Obama was also making history as the first black first lady —bringing black womanhood in full display in front of the whole world. While it might have been apparent that she would be the subject of racism like her husband, her experiences were also a painful reminder of exactly how misogynoir (misogyny which is particularly aimed at black women) shows up in the lives of black women.
This week in Denver at the Women’s Foundation of Colorado’s 30th anniversary event, the former first lady gave insight into what it was like to endure the racist and sexist critiques that were all too common while her husband was president.
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“The shards that cut me the deepest were the ones that intended to cut,” she told a crowd. “Knowing that after eight years of working really hard for this country, there are still people who won’t see me for what I am because of my skin color.”
Obama specifically referenced how racially charged attacks — like ones that called her an ape and focused on her body — personally hurt her.
Women, of all colors, are generally used to critiques about their bodies. In this way, patriarchy does an excellent job of shaming us for who we are. This is an experience we have in common. However, black women endure a particular type of body shaming steeped in the most negative of racist stereotypes—designed to portray us as mannish, unattractive, emasculating.
Back in 2011, Psychology Today even published a ridiculous article masquerading as research suggesting that because of our “more masculine” features, black women are less attractive than women of other races. This kind of crap is rampant. It is deeply harmful. It is untrue. It breeds misunderstanding and more racism. And not that it made her any better than the average black woman, but for all her education and position in life, Michelle Obama couldn’t even escape being seen in this way.
The decision to speak publicly about her feelings and experiences was, Obama said, an effort to remind people they are accountable for their language and actions.
“Women, we endure those cuts in so many ways that we don’t even notice we’re cut,” she said. “We are living with small, tiny cuts, and we are bleeding every single day.”
Despite all that she has gone through, Mrs. Obama insists on still seeing the good in people. “The people in this country are universally good and kind and honest and decent,” she said. It’s kind of hard to believe that these days.
The Obamas were not perfect by any means but they were fundamentally decent human beings. They had values and a moral compass and acted accordingly. Even if they weren’t progressive enough for you, they were reasonable. They most certainly weren’t an embarrassment. Meanwhile, millions of people in this country turned around and thanked them for their service by choosing a Neanderthal for president who will most assuredly set progress back decades. That’s the exact opposite of decent.
At any rate, she remains one of the best first ladies our country has ever seen. She did us all proud and modeled the diversity and strength and grace of black womanhood. And she was probably way too good for us.