By now you have probably heard a bit about Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh’s “Beach Week” letter, written by “Bart” Kavanaugh in 1983 to his crew of friends. It concerns an Ocean City, Maryland, condo Kavanaugh and his friends were renting for a big party week. The letter includes all of the crass, sexist, and alcohol-drenched culture numerous witnesses have attested was the life of Brett Kavanaugh in the 1980s. It paints a picture so contradictory to Kavanaugh’s Senate Judicial Hearing testimony that the only question left is how many times one person can perjure himself and not actually end up in jail—let alone on the land’s highest court?
One of the tidbits inside a New York Times article about the letter is a reference to an “underground newspaper” at Georgetown Prep called The Unknown Hoya. It was a passion project that Kavanaugh’s classmates, including Mark Judge—alleged by Dr. Christine Ford as the other man in the room during her sexual assault—wrote for secret distribution among the student body. In it, Judge and two other students would have lots of fun, tallying beer kegs drunk at parties throughout the year and ripping on a neighboring all-girls school, the alma mater of Dr. Christine Ford, Holton-Arms. The Times reproduces an article from this little newspaper, entitled “The Truth About Holton.”
What is Holton Arms? Is it a training academy for The Rainbow Inn? Quite possibly, but let us investigate further. We do know that Holton is the home of the most worthless excuse for an underground newspaper. In fact, it is also the home of the most worthless excuses for human females.
If you will care to look below, you will see all it takes to have a good time with any H.H. (Holton Hosebag). Just ask one of their leading ladies, [redacted].
“Sure,” says [redacted], “A library card is all it takes.”
Sorry, Holton, we may spank our monkeys, but we’ve seen what evil effects you have on the male population. [Emphasis added.]
An important addendum here. In the Times article, when asked about the letter and about Beach Week, one of Kavanaugh’s old classmates, Tom Kane, said most of it was harmless jokes. He said that, while he couldn’t remember any details of the partying, the letter itself sounded almost like “the script of ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ really.” Revenge of the Nerds famously has a scene in which the nerdy protagonist tricks a seemingly inebriated classmate into sleeping with him by dressing up as her boyfriend during a school Halloween party.