My gut usually works like an Omega watch. It is a finely tuned machine and reliable as, well, as a Omega watch.
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I’ve had stomach cramps ever since the morning after I submitted myself to the State of the Union speech. I even have pangs of pain as I write this. I am stuck at home because I don’t want to be away from a bathroom.
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Turn back the time machine 70 years
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When I was a kid I always said my prayers at bedtime:
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Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray to God my soul to keep
God bless Mommy and Daddy,
Jenifer ( with one n — my sister) and Grandpa and (Aunt) Grace,
and Bibby (my cat).
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Then came a time at about age 10 when I realized I didn’t believe in God.
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However, every once in awhile I would have wicked stomach cramps and while trying to wish them away would finally say out loud “please, please, God, if you make the pain go away I will believe in you.” “Oh, God, please, please make it stop,” I would whimper.
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Eventually, the pain diminished and abated.
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Then when I had lower G-I cramps I eventually stopped the God-ploy and learned a kind of distraction self-hypnosis. Don’t think about the pain, make your mind a blank, then take yourself to a mentally good place. (There’s lots of literature about how to do this, or a hypnotherapist can teach you, but I just stumbled on a technique that worked for me.)
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It actually worked pretty well. It even worked when I went to the dentist in the days before they had high-speed drills, and I had cavities filled without novocaine, fearing the giant needle more than the pain.
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But my prepubescent atheism persisted to this day. I’m not a proselytizing atheist, God just isn't part of my life or belief system and isn't something I think about very often.
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Narcissism or Delusion alert:
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What if there is a God and She is waiting for me not because I’m special, rather because I am ordinary in some Biblical way, and I have been selected as the one random non-believing human among millions, to become a believer. If I just pray for Her to exercise divine and compassionate, intervention to remove Trump from office She will make it happen.
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To those who follow my 50 or so stories about Trump being mentally ill, and have contended that all shrinks are a little crazy themselves, have a field day in the comments.
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