From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
I’m Not Just Polling Your Leg
With the exception of that one mad scientist in Hoboken whose time travel experiment succeeded beyond his wildest dreams, the first quarter of 2018 is behind us. And that means it's C&J number-crunching time. Every few months we revisit the results of recent C&J polls to give you a retro-snapshot of just what the hell "you people" were thinking between January through March. Please note that these polls are not affiliated with Markos’s new Civiqs project (which you should go over to right now and drool over). Amazing unanimity in this batch...
• 95 percent of you are not surprised that Trump doesn’t know the words to our national anthem. (2,889)
• 94 percent still have an unfavorable opinion of George W. Bush. The other 6 percent are trolls. (4,034)
• 99 percent don’t support the Ivanka Trump-Rand Paul family leave plan that would force people to draw from their Social Security to pay for maternity leave and delay their retirement. (4,765)
• 99 percent also don’t support Trump’s vanity military parade for which he wants (but can’t have) tanks and mobile missile launchers. (4,575)
• 97 percent don’t believe the U.S. Congress will lift a finger to address gun violence before the midterm elections on November 6. (4,551)
• 71 percent give Rex Tillerson an F for his time as Secretary of State. 25 percent give him a D. (3,495)
• Two-thirds of you thought the March For Our Lives marches were bigger than you expected. (3,366)
• 98 percent weren’t surprised by learning that Trump had to write “I hear you” on a cheat-sheet during a White House meeting with students and parents of gun violence. (3,511)
• Regarding the New York governor’s race: 44 percent of you are Cynthia Nixon supporters, 30 percent are Andrew Cuomo supporters, and 26 percent say they ain’t got no dawg in this hunt. (2,926)
• A few weeks ago 51 percent of you believed that EPA head Scott Pruitt should be the next member of Trump’s inner circle to leave, followed by Jared Kushner (32%) and Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke (9%). The guy on our list of poll choices who got the fewest votes (1%) was VA Secretary David Shulken, who ended up being the actual next one to leave. (4,020)
As always, we bow to your superior ability to have opinions on stuff.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, April 6, 2018
Note: If you haven’t cleaned up this filthy planet by the time Earth Day gets here in 16 days, we are so sending you to your room without supper and taking away your iPhone pad tablet thingy. Here’s a shop-vac---you can start with the excess CO2 emissions. Don’t forget the corners.
---Mom & Dad
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By the Numbers:
Months ‘til election day as of today: 7
Days 'til California's Bodega Bay Fisherman's Festival: 8
Number of immigrants accepted into the United States in 2016, according to AP: 85,000
Number of immigrants expected to be accepted this federal fiscal year, the lowest in 38 years: 21,000
Percent of employment growth between 2005 and 2015 that was made up of those in the gig employment/independent contractor/freelancer sector, according to FiveThirtyEight: 94%
New estimate of the number of black holes in the Milky Way galaxy, according to a report published in Nature: 10,000
Expected number of candidates on the June 5th gubernatorial primary ballot in California: 27
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Now we know… (cc: NOAA)
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CHEERS to pickups in unexpected places. Earlier this week Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell admitted that the November 6 midterms are going to be a Democratic hurricane and openly wondered “whether it’s going to be a Category 3, 4 or 5.” If yesterday’s bombshell polling news is any indication, it’s looking cat-5ish. This is not a seat Republicans planned on having to think about, let alone sink a gob of resources into:
Former Gov.Phil Bredesen has a 10-point lead over U.S. Rep. Marsha Blackburn in the race to succeed U.S. Sen. Bob Corker, according to a new poll from Middle Tennessee State University.
The poll, released Thursday, found 45 percent of 600 registered Tennessee voters said they would choose Bredesen, a Democrat and former Nashville mayor, if the election were immediately held. Blackburn, a Brentwood Republican, netted 35 percent.
The MTSU poll also found Bredesen had a considerable advantage over Blackburn in terms of getting support from voters on the other side of the aisle.
Bredesen will gravitate toward Joe Manchin and other conserva-Dems at the Senate lunch table. But it’ll be worth it if Team D finds itself as the gatekeeper for Trump’s judicial nominees---including any SCOTUS picks---starting in January, 2019. (Remember: according to the McConnell Rule, no Supreme Court nominees can be considered in 2020 because it’ll be a presidential election year and “we must wait and let the voters decide.”) The usual caveat applies: it’s early, so no pre-gloating. But evil grins are entirely fair game.
PROST!!! to sending the Nazis fleeing back into their bunker. Stormfront. The name conjures images of aging Hitler-wannabes sitting behind their computers plotting the Aryan takeover of the United States by spreading Pepe the frog memes and anti-Semitic artwork from 1930s Germany. With the election of white supremacist Donald Trump, they thought it was safe to venture out into the real world to actually take their movement mainstream. And, boy howdy, they came so close…to not coming anywhere near so close. Via the Southern Poverty Law Center:
[T]he white supremacist movement’s first major hate forum is temporarily restricting access to“sustaining members”---users who donate at least five dollars a month---and will be archiving and shuttering its main server on April 6 due to a “financial crisis.” […]
Stormfront’s influence cannot be understated. For over a decade, a Stormfront account was virtually mandatory for members of the white supremacist community to network and organize. […]
With the temporary restriction of access to guests and free users and downgraded servers looming, a longstanding pillar of white supremacy looks poised to fall.
They would’ve succeeded if not for one thing: that pesky “three reichs and you’re out” rule.
CHEERS to great moments in synthetics. On April 6, 1869, the first form of plastic---celluloid---was patented. 149 years later, the talking heads at Fox News swear by it for their almost-lifelike appearance. Memo to Sean Hannity: order another case---you're sagging again.
JEERS to the last gasp of a arrogant little prick. This is an open letter we cobbled together to the current most-endangered Trump cabinet member:
Mister Pruitt,
Trump gave you one job and you knew it.
“Dismantle EPA---just do it!”
But your code of ethics broke and you couldn’t re-glue it.
Your aides gave you cautionary advice, but you chose to poo-poo it.
The dark side---you turned to it.
Lavishing yourself with privilege and luxury as fast as you could accrue it.
Boy, did you overdo it.
And---spoiler alert---we could all see right through it.
Turns out there were two bitter ex-lovebirds working for you who said, “Screw it.”
And spilled the beans. Whatever credibility you had---they slew it.
Mister Pruitt, you blew it.
You’re not going to come through it.
Time for you to go---hop to it.
We’ve reserved the world’s smallest violin, and we can’t wait to cue it.
P.S. Your f*cking cone of silence? We’re gonna barbecue it.
As always, the actual letter has little hearts over the i’s
CHEERS to escaping hell in a handbasket. On April 8, 1766, the first fire escape was patented---it consisted of a wicker basket lowered by a pulley and chain. Of course they've evolved a lot since then. The new fire escape baskets have GPS and a cup holder.
CHEERS to home vegetation. It's still cold, raw and windy here on the unforgiving and desolate coast of Maine, so we'll have ample time for weekend channel surfing. After Chris Hayes (hosting a town hall-style Q&A tonight with Apple CEO Tim Cook from Chicago) and #1 cable news host Rachel Maddow do that thing they do, Bill Maher talks with Geraldo Rivera (dear god, why?), Heather McGhee, Max Boot, Eliot Spitzer & Louie Anderson on HBO’s Real Time.
Also tonight: Seth Rogan hosts Hilarity for Charity (Netflix) to raise money for Alzheimer’s research. New home video movie releases are a pitiful lot this week, but if you’re interested you can see ‘em here. More interesting will be Al Pacino in what will no doubt be an Emmy and Golden Globe-nominated turn as Penn State’s most infamous coach in Paterno (Saturday at 8 on HBO). The big sports event this weekend is the conclusion of The Masters golf tournament. The baseball schedule---starring the First-place Boston Red Sox---is here, the basketball schedule is here and the hockey schedule is here. Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther, Marshall) hosts SNL. On 60 Minutes: a report on cyber attacks on U.S. voting systems by the Russians, and a look inside the 142-year-old Harvard Lampoon. And John Oliver slays another bedrock American institution Sunday night at 11 on HBO’s Last Week Tonight.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: TBA
CNN's State of the Union: White House Economic Moron Larry Kudlow; points to Jake tapper for an all-women roundtable.
This Week: TBA
Face the Nation: Cabinet member with the most punchable face Steve Mnuchin; Sens. Ben Cardin (D-MD) and John Kennedy (R-LA); WIRED editor-in-chief Nicholas Thompson previews the upcoming Facebook hearings.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: White House Economic Idiot Larry Kudlow; House Demoratic Caucus Chairman Rep. Joe Crowley (D-NY). (Why have I never heard of this guy?)
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 6, 2008
JEERS to Rip van Wanker. Fed chairman Ben Bernanke---having apparently just woken from winter hibernation---warned yesterday that there's a teensy possibility that America may be headed for a recession. His first clue: waking up to find that everyone else in the world thinks we're in a recession. Man's got some instincts.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the birthday beastmaster. Jim Fowler, the guy who always---so the myth goes---had to do the dirty work on Wild Kingdom while Marlin Perkins sat in the truck drinking whiskey sours, turns a year older Sunday. Fowler was a childhood icon of mine, and I can still hear the "Ka-chunk ka-chunk" of the TV channel changer on Sunday evenings. He's a smart guy:
"Almost all of the social tragedies occurring around the world today are caused by ignoring the basic biological laws of nature ... The quicker we humans learn that saving open space and wildlife is critical to our welfare and quality of life, maybe we'll start thinking of doing something about it."
As far as I know, he's still active. (Here's his TED talk from late 2015). And though he aimed to save and protect animals, he killed in one arena. Namely, Carson's comedy sanctuary:
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Happy 86th birthday Sunday, Jim. And blessings on your camels or whatever creature you happen to be wrangling at the moment.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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