For some reason this sign by The Cisco Kid really got to me. When I saw it the first thing I thought was “Man, people should be doing this everywhere!” But for some reason I thought this not as the freewayblogger, but just as a normal, everyday American. It was like an out of body experience for me because immediately after thinking more people should do it the next thing I thought was “but not me of course…” And for a fraction of a second I wasn’t me but a woman in my 50’s, looking at the picture and wondering under what circumstances I’d ever put up a sign like that myself. The first thing I thought was that the only way I’d do it would be along with my friends, that for whatever reason there was no way I’d do it alone. I pictured four or five women, all about my age, standing, chatting and laughing outside (at the edge of a forest for some reason…) Thinking of them gave me this slight ping of happiness and familiarity and knowing that we’d all like the idea but also that we wouldn’t be making any signs. There wasn’t really a specific reason much beyond that it was simply something we just didn’t do. That, and the certainty it wasn’t going to happen was what ended the moment and I went back to just being me.
I’ve been dashing my brains for almost 20 years now trying to figure out why something so easily accomplished - and agreed on as being both good and necessary by so many people - just wasn’t being done. Honestly, there are really only about seven or eight of us. And while I’ve often put myself in the place of an outside observer who wasn’t the freewayblogger, it was still always me - and the split second inspired by that picture was the first time I think I’ve ever seen things so clearly through the eyes of somebody else. And what I saw was first that doing it alone was an absolute non-starter, and the other thing I saw was how firmly set in stone the default position for normal people is that they won’t actually be making or posting any signs. And as you can imagine, for someone who’s spent so much time and effort advocating that they do, this was a little depressing. But at least now I have a much better idea of what I’m up against.
When I consider signposting as myself but-not-the-freewayblogger, working alone doesn’t bother me, and in fact is pretty much a given. But I don’t think I’d actually do it either, telling myself “It’s just not my style…” And to whatever extent I’d actually be inspired, it’s not hard to quash it with the usual “I’d be no good a it,” “I’d get caught,” or the ever-popular “It probably wouldn’t do any good anyway.” Believe me, I understand these arguments and use them constantly to avoid doing new things all the time. And in fact, if it wasn’t for a very unique and specific set of circumstances I wouldn’t have ever started putting signs on freeways myself at all. But I did, and then quickly discovered that putting words on some cardboard and then putting the cardboard next to freeways is exactly as difficult as it sounds. Also that doing it three or four times usually ends up reaching about 200,000 people or more.
And because of this I’m stuck in the role of salesman which is something, believe me, I’m no good at. If Arthur Miller had written a play about me where I die at the end he’d have called it “Death of Someone Who Wouldn’t Even Remotely Be Considered As A Salesman.” This was brought home in a comment by a Kossack promising they’d put up at least one sign in 2019. I could see that they meant well but considered it pretty much a chore, much like going to the dentist: something they knew they should do but didn’t want to because it was essentially unpleasant. And something about that one simple comment seemed to symbolize the totality and extent of my failure. Because it shouldn’t be a chore at all - it should be something you’re looking forward to and excited about. Something you’re not just hungry for but positively ravenous - choosing your words and then making them art and then figuring out how to make sure that they’re seen… Especially now when we’re so close to losing our country to such utterly evil and miserable megalomaniacs as Trump, McConnell, Putin and Pence. And remember this isn’t my idea, it’s the founding fathers’ - primarily Jefferson and Madison.
I’ll try to do better from my end, but for now take another look at that picture and ask yourself why it’s not happening everywhere. Then see if you can think of some way that might help us make it actually happen.