The husband slowly dims the gaslights to con his wife into thinking she’s insane. He manipulates small aspects of their environment to trick her mind, to make her doubt the evidence of her senses. We now label this trickery gaslighting because it originated with the 1938 stage play (and then movie) “Gaslight.”
Gaslighting is abuse.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs.
Over the years, KosAbility readers have reported medical gaslighting — doctors and health insurance telling us to doubt the evidence of our bodies. The pain isn’t as bad as you “make it” seem. That weird rash that comes and goes is normal. Nothing shows up on your lab tests and images therefore there is no problem. Your tests all are in normal range.
When doctors gaslight us by minimizing and disbelieving our reports, the consequences can be serious. They may place a note in your medical file claiming you’re a hypochondriac or unreliable witness of your own experiences that results in subsequent doctors dismissing your symptoms. You may doubt yourself and try to accommodate your symptoms as normal. Treatment is withheld, the condition gets worse, and you suffer for years, or die.
Medical gaslighting can take many forms.
- Minimizing disabling or dangerous symptoms. If you were in that much pain you wouldn’t be able to walk into my office.
- Blaming symptoms on mental illness. It’s all in your head.
- Assuming a diagnosis based on sex, race, identity age gender ethnicity weight income. If you lost 20 pounds you’d feel better.
- Refusing to order pertinent lab or imaging work. I don’t need blood tests to tell me you aren’t anemic. You need to exercise more and then you’ll sleep better and have more energy.
- Refusing to discuss the health issues with the patient. Who’s the doctor here, me or Google?
One doctor’s recent attempt on Twitter to shame patients resulted in the hashtag #PatientsAreNotFaking that amplifies the realities of medical gaslighting.
Carrie Ann Lucas was “a disabled parent, activist, lawyer and all-around life force in the disability community” who died February 24, 2019. Her abuser was a health insurance company.
...our friend died because of an abusive relationship. I saw her manipulated, gaslit, threatened, neglected, and abused repeatedly. Every time she seemed to find a way out or escape the situation, the abuser would return, vengeful and vindictive, and ready to go another round with her and her family.
How is a health insurance company an abuser? Well if you’re a person with a disability or a significant chronic illness, this is all too easy. For nondisabled folks unfamiliar with this, health insurance is the largest non-negotiable in our lives and it has the power to dictate decisions that extend beyond the perimeter of an exam room. It can regulate where you live, who you live with, if you have a job, how much money you are allowed to save up, how much money you can earn.
If your family, friends, employer, and others trust the medical system they will believe what the system says about you instead of believing you are legitimately sick. You may doubt yourself and begin under-reporting your symptoms and pain levels, adding another layer of disease to actual health conditions.
The first and worst medical gaslighting experience I had was in 2000. The initial doctor I saw nine months after the tick bite when my symptoms grew too horrible to ignore told me it couldn’t be Lyme disease. She said, “I don’t believe Lyme disease exists. It’s an excuse weak people use to get out of doing anything.” After three different doctors took my symptoms seriously and ordered lab tests that resulted in a positive diagnosis of Lyme disease, I went back and told the first doctor. Her response continued the gaslighting; she denied having said that. I reported this doctor to her medical clinic and to the state medical board. Writing this motivated me to look her up online. She still has a practice in Chico California and accepts new patients.
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- PEOPLE LIVING WITH DISABILITIEs;
- WHO LOVE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY; OR
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At KosAbility we amicably discuss any and all matters pertaining to health. Our discussions are not medical advice. Medical advice can only be provided by a qualified physician who has examined the patient. If you have worrisome symptoms please see your doctor!
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