House Minority Leader and Lev Parnas cash recipient Kevin McCarthy was on the Fox Business Channel on Sunday, on Maria Bartiromo's theoretically maybe-about-business version of one of the big kid's shows. (For those of you unawares, Fox "Business" is where they stuff the people they don't quite want to ‘fess up to paying on the flagship network: See Dobbs, Lou.)
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Rep. McCarthy has been thinking about who ought to represent Donald Trump during his Senate impeachment trial. He has been thinking long and hard, and has come to the conclusion that Donald Trump's best defenders would be the same shrieking weirdos who tried their best to turn the House investigations into a rubber-nose circus.
McCarthy will never be regarded as a smart man or savvy technician, but the man knows what he likes: yelling. Lots and lots of yelling. McCarthy told Bartiromo that his own top picks would be Reps. Jim Jordan of Ohio, John Ratcliffe of Texas, and Doug Collins from Georgia.
Rep. Jim Jordan's qualifications: Helped cover up sexual assaults of his athletes during his tenure as an assistant wrestling coach, thereby proving an eagerness to cover up crimes that not even most House Republicans can match. Knows that yelling your argument instead of speaking it instantly makes it more logical and credible. Recently found his coat.
Rep. John Ratcliffe: Was nominated for a job in Trump's administration but had to withdraw after it came to light that he's been lying for years about his own record. Seems an iffy choice; Donald Trump likes liars who can get away with their lies.
Rep. Doug Collins: Yeah, not a clue on this one. Collins was head complainer during the House Judiciary Committee hearings, but even though his contributions took a very, very long time: Can you remember a single memorable thing about them? A single argument that he made that wasn't just lifted from the exact same talking point cards used by every other defender? Collins is notable for being the Trump defender equivalent of television static. He is a stock ticker that lists not companies, but Trump excuses. Over and over. Forever.
So these all seem like excellent choices for McCarthy. They are clearly geared toward that segment of the population that does not have an attention span robust enough to listen to actual arguments, but are very sure that whoever's screeching the loudest ought to be in charge of things. You know, Trump supporters. Sean Hannity fans. Buffoons.
