Rep. Porter: She had $2,425 a month. She rents a one-bedroom apartment, she and her daughter sleep together in the same room in Irvine, and that will be $1,600. She spends $100 on utilities, take away the net 17, and she has net $725. She’s like me, she drives a 2008 minivan, and she has gas, $400 for car expenses and gas—net $325. The Department of Agriculture says that a low-cost food budget, that’s ramen noodles, a low-cost food budget is $400. That leaves her $77 in the red. She has a Cricket cell phone, the cheapest cell phone she can get, for $40. In the red $117 a month. She has after-school child care because the bank is open during normal business hours, and that is $450 a month, taking her down to negative $567 per month.
My question for you, Mr. Dimon, is how should she manage this budget shortfall while working full-time at your bank?
Dimon: I -- I don't know that all of your numbers are accurate. That number is a, it’s generally a starter job.
Porter: She is a starting employee with a 6-year-old child, this is her first job.
Dimon: You get those jobs out of high school and she may have my job one day.
I will say this again. Porter is being generous here. She is saying that this woman could give her 6-year-old grocery store-bought ramen noodles every day and still be this far in the red. Dimon’s pointing to this entry-level job as being for people coming out of high school is identical to conservatives that attack minimum wage raises because the jobs are supposed to be for kids who just need pocket money to buy soda pop and go to the drive-in with their friends. But saying that she may have his job one day is like saying I may be living on the moon one day. It’s possible, but not only is it unlikely, but it’s also completely unimportant to my life right now.
Porter: But she doesn't have the ability right now to spend your $31 million. She’s short 567, what would you suggest she do?
Dimon: I don’t know, I would have to think about that.
Porter: Would you recommend she take out a J.P. Morgan Chase credit card and run a deficit?
Dimon: I don’t know. I’d have to think about it.
That one really gets under Dimon’s skin, because deep down inside he knows this whole credit card business is a confidence game, and he runs in a world where politicians play nicely and complicitly in that game. Porter does not.
Porter: Would you recommend that she overdraft at your bank and be charged overdraft fees?
Dimon: I don't know. I’d have to think about it. I would love to call her up and have a conversation about her financial affairs and see if we could be helpful.
Porter: For her to live on less than the minimum that I described?
Dimon: Just be helpful.
Porter: Well, I appreciate your desire to be helpful, but what I would like for you to do is provide a way to help families make ends meet. So 6-year-old kids living with their mother in a one-bedroom apartment aren't going hungry at night because they are $567 short, from feeding themselves—we allowed no money for clothing, we allowed no money for school lunches, we allowed no money for field trips, we allowed no money for medical, we allowed no money for prescription drugs, and she’s already short $567.
As Dimon attempts to sidetrack this, Porter cuts him off to highlight how absolutely asinine Jamie Dimon, the big smart CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company, is.
Porter: Mr. Dimon, you figure out how to spend $31 million a year in salary, and you can’t find a way to make up $567-a-month shortfall. This is a problem you cannot solve.
Maybe Dimon would spend some of the $3.7 billion in Republican tax giveaway profits J.P. Morgan made this year on raising wages for his employees? Probably not. Dimon is mostly interested in just being “helpful.” Whatever that really means.
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