It’s easy to feel helpless these days if you’re glued to the news. It’s easy to feel sad and angry with such a steady heat that it burns you from the inside out. To witness the abortion laws passing in horrific rhythm—Alabama, Missouri, Georgia, Louisiana—with nauseated deja vu. I close my computer, try to forget; I smile and play with my two little girls, and I am electrified with joy when I’m with them. Simultaneously, I ache, and I have to hide my ache. I hold these feelings all at once and it’s exhausting. I want a better world for them. I don’t know that I can give that to them.
Despite the helplessness, of course, there are things we can do. We can donate to abortion clinics, raise hell with our legislators, sign petitions. Attend rallies. March. Yell at the top of our lungs. I believe in the power of all of that. But if we really want to change the world—change culture, change misguided belief systems—perhaps the most powerful tools of all are the stories we live to tell.
News and facts are essential to our democracy, no matter what Individual One farts out of his mouth about “fake news.” Every day I learn more about the world around me by reading news stories here, from our many smart staff members who analyze and explain the eternal dumpster fire in terms that help me better understand it all. But what has always captured me here at Daily Kos are the personal stories.
There’s a reason that conservatives magically experience a change of heart when something happens to someone close to them. A family member comes out as LGBTQ, or a friend loses their health insurance, and suddenly they rethink being a homophobe or standing against Medicare for All. When we make the political personal, when we share stories, we can reach people in surprising, unexpected ways.
The abortion fight is unfortunately not going away any time soon. Foresight is limited, and I know the road is long. But one thing we can do in addition to donating, marching, and raising hell is to make sure we are putting as many of these personal stories out there as possible, from the folks willing to share them. Share them with anyone willing to read them. Share them often, and relentlessly. With personal stories, we can ask readers to flex their empathy. We can shape a narrative. We can change minds.
Daily Kos has an incredible archive here, a treasure trove of experiences, one I’ve been diving into over these past weeks. I’d like to share the most powerful stories on abortion I found here, all of them still relevant and not stale, even if years have passed since they were first published. I hope you can read them, reread them, and share them as the news cycle continues.
1) I used a hanger, by agitated american. This harrowing story from a woman who induced her own abortion two years before Roe v. Wade is a reminder of the world we will likely return to if abortion is ever illegal again.
My desperate circumstances almost cost my life, and my two beautiful children their mother. But I saw no other options for myself then. I deserved other options.
2) WHY I PROVIDE ABORTIONS, by william f harrison. One physician’s story of what led him to provide abortions over many years, and the incredible range of experiences he saw and learned from during this period of his life.
Over the next few years, I was exposed to real life as it is lived by millions of people who don't have the sanctification granted in America to those who are white, male, well educated, well gene-ed, well nurtured, well advantaged. I learned that what this woman knew was a personal tragedy for herself and her family, was only one face in a multifaceted problem confronting thousands of girls and women every day.
3) At 14, it was no “gift from God”, Trust Me, by EclecticCrafter. A horrific story—and imagine when this happens in Alabama in 2020, where no exceptions for rape or incest are even allowed.
I know that some rape survivors do choose to keep a child due to their own beliefs (or through lack of choice) and I can imagine that it would be possible for such women to take comfort in the thought that this was “God’s gift” to turn a horrible experience into something positive. I would never take that belief from them. I just wish the religious right would do me the favor of giving my experience and beliefs the same respect I give theirs.
4) The abortion story no one tells, by stedmonds. There are so many medical reasons why women need D & E procedures. This is just one of them.
Every time I’ve read a defense of abortion rights in the recent weeks, I’ve felt compelled to tell a story about abortion that doesn’t fit the usual mold, which is yet far more common than anyone realizes. It is a story that underlines that abortion is a medical procedure, the uses of which are not at all obvious to those who would outlaw this medical procedure.
5) Come Out of the Dark, Share Your Story. I’ll Start., by Wltdnfaded. This story, with more than 1,000 comments, is a testament to the unstoppable force of community and the beautiful domino effect one story can have. By telling a story, you are not only sharing your experience—you open a door for others to do the same.
THIS should be our strategy against those who would deny us our rights as women and as Americans. THIS is what we need to do-- TELL OUR STORIES. No more fear, no more shame, no more hiding. Roe vs Wade promised us privacy, and we have exercised that. But if we truly want to honor Dr. Tiller's memory and all the work he's done for women across this country, WE HAVE TO COME OUT AND YELL OUR STORIES FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!!
6) My Abortion Baby, by Valerie Tareco. Written a day after Dr. George Tiller was shot and killed, this story proves that sometimes abortion is the most difficult, but most humane, choice.
[M]any many children exist in this world only because of abortion.
We rarely talk of them – the chosen children who wouldn’t be here if their mothers hadn’t first chosen abortion when the timing or conditions were wrong.
7) Forced Births in the Bad Old Days, by mijita. THIS is what forced birth looks like: an utter nightmare.
When we talked about why abortion had to be kept legal and accessible to all women (and girls too), Judy told us that as terrible as being molested had been, being forced to be pregnant and give birth against her will was far worse. It was something, she believed, she'd never get over.
8) Her Name Was Susan, by amadon. A haunting memory from a medical student before Roe v. Wade was law.
It is now 50 years later and I still carry this burden of shame for myself, my colleagues, my society, my country. And to this day, whenever the subject of Roe v Wade comes up, whenever I see and hear the holier-than-thou religious fanatics trying to take away the rights of a woman to control her own body, to make her own choices, to force her into the back alleys of Tijuana, I can still smell the stench of ammonia in the air.
9) An abortion story (or what I say to pro-lifers), by SaneSoutherner. This shows how individual this choice is, and how impossible it is to legislate such a complex decision fairly. The choice must be up to the women themselves.
My story is very individual, but so are most women's stories. You can't pick and choose and legislate for every scenario, becuse there are a million scenarios. We are the ones with the burden of choice - we are the ones who know whether we can bear that child or not. Often we grieve, but we still choose.
10) My moral choice, by docswede. A heart-wrenching story with a scenario I’m sure most forced-birthers have never considered.
I helped her prevent a child from being born to a mother who would be dead before it was a year old. It was such a sad situation, but I felt like I had been an important part of her care.
11) What Working in An Abortion Clinic for 10 yrs. Taught Me, by jplanner. This account of a medical assistant at an abortion clinic during the 90s covers a wide range of experiences from patients as young as 10 years old.
There were so many compelling reasons women chose to get an abortion. There are so many more than it seems people who call themselves “pro-life”-actually forced-birthers-imagine.
12) She Cried in My Arms, by JDWolverton. When the forced birthers get their way, there are no happy endings.
So many anti-abortion people point to the mental issues some women have after they get an abortion. Here I have proof positive that this woman is experiencing similar mental issues now that she's given up a baby up for adoption. She gave the baby life, which she takes comfort in, but she is castigating herself for not keeping her child.
The right to life doesn't end with birth.
...doesn't even cover it.
I’m so grateful for these personal stories that breathe color and life into political issues, and for the brave souls who bare their painful experiences in hopes that someone, somewhere, will learn from them. Bookmark these stories and keep them handy. Sadly, we’re probably going to need to share them again and again in the coming months.
