Presidential candidate misbehavior, campaign suspended

Former candidate Bailey, pondering his future with a pig ear dog treat

You know, you offer your dog up as a presidential candidate—as people do— when someone says they would vote for a dog over Trump. That a dog would do a better job than Trump.

   So I started the Bailey 2020 campaign, the entirety of which consisted of posting a picture of Bailey here and there on DailyKos.

   He’s a two year old rescue mini Aussie, smart as a whip, but with that common and exasperating fault:  He wants people food all the time.

   Yes, he eats dog food. But he really wants your food. 

   I’m not just talking about the remnants of a burger or tuna sandwich. This dog stuck his nose into a glass of V-8 juice and slurped it all up.  

   He will try to eat potato chips, berries, cornbread. Bow tie pasta. Birthday cake.

    Yes, he’s healthy, we got him checked out. And we are being scrupulous with putting scraps in the garbage and keeping him away from our leftovers. We are also trying out various kinds of dog foods to see what might interest him, hopefully more than his fondness for ketchup packets and tidbits from our cats’ litter boxes (so gross).

    But after last night I’m suspending Bailey 2020 because of egregious misbehavior unsuitable for a presidential candidate.

   Our daughter was enjoying a piece of pizza and setting up a selfie because Bailey was sitting adorably next to her. She should have known.

    Would Elizabeth Warren chomp down someone else’s pizza? Would Kamala Harris snatch food right out of another person’s hand? I think not.

    Sic transit gloria mundi  Bailey 2020

Monday, Jul 1, 2019 · 3:25:16 AM +00:00 · chicago minx

Oh BTW, Elizabeth Warren’s dog is also named Bailey. I don’t know, of course, but I have trouble believing her Bailey is a pizza thief.